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Runner Runner Trailer: Justin Timberlake is gambling with Ben Affleck’s crocodiles

By / 06.06.13

“Hey, ahn’t you that guy frim N Sync? I love yoah sawngs.” “Yeah, hey, thanks m–” “JUST KIDDIN, GET AWFF MY FACKIN’ BOAT YOU GAY CAWKSUCKAH!”


From Lincoln Lawyer director Brad Furman and Rounders writers Brian Koppelman and David Levien comes Runner, Runner, which stars Justin Timberlake as a Princeton student who takes to online gambling as a way to pay for his Ivy League tuition. When he gets screwed on some shady dealings (literally, lol!), he takes matters into his own hands, and heads offshore to find the screws who screwed him. But hey, don’t take my word for it, just watch the insanely expository trailer. So… can we admit Justin Timberlake isn’t an actor now, dudes?

“Gambling is forbidden on campus.”

“I owe 60 grand tuition next week – and that’s if I don’t eat!”

“Is your plan to gamble for your tuition money?”

“…I was cheated.”

“You’re about to jet off to a country you’ve never been to, with a language you do not speak.”

People say voiceover is a crutch, but writing dialog that sounds like something a voiceover would say is just as bad. THIS JUST WENT FROM MISSION IMPOSSIBLE TO MISSION IN-FREAKIN-SANITY, MEEP MORP.

LISTEN TO YOAH BAWSS BEN AFFLECK, JUSTIN TIMBAHLAKE. THE ONLY WAY FAHWID IS TA STAWP ACTIN SO QUEAH. I’LL FEED YA TO THE FACKIN CRAWKADILES, GO SAWX!

Seriously, every movie trailer should end with Ben Affleck feeding someone to crocodiles.


TOPICSTRAILERS
TAGSBEN AFFLECKBRAD FURMANCROCODILESFEDTO CROCODILESJUSTIN TIMBERLAKERUNNER RUNNER

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