A few days ago, I told you about an anonymously-sourced report from Radar Online saying Jack Nicholson had “quietly retired” from acting because of memory issues. At the time, I pointed out that memory issues haven’t prevented many people from taking movie roles, and there were a lot of reasons the story seemed sketchy.
“When asked for comment by NBC News, we received an adamant denial from Nicholson through a spokesman who said the 76-year-old actor is very much still in the game, is suffering no memory loss, and in fact, is reading scripts for future film projects.”
Of course, the key part of the initial report was “quietly” retired, as in, didn’t want to tell people about it. We could speculate further, but if I type “could” or “maybe” one more time, I’d have to break out my green leotard with question marks all over it and you’d all be distracted by my heaving crotch bulge. No one wants that.
So here’s a non-speculative story: Jack Nicholson hasn’t been in a movie since 2010. He’s still alive. The end.
(image via Getty)