Jenna Dewan-Tatum, AKA Jenna D-1 C-Tates, was a guest on Ellen last week, and all that anyone would want to ever ask her is what our boy, the hardest twerkin’ playboy in show bizna$$$ty, Channing Tatum is like as a father to their young daughter Everly. Of course, without even having to ask her, I’d assume that C-Tates is the straight chedda biscuit bomb diggity daddy, but she verified my assumption by telling Ellen that he’s great at everything from changing Everly’s diapers to beatboxing her to sleep. I am not exaggerating when I say that I would pay at least $100 for a video of that.
But Jenna D-1 also told Ellen about the couple’s trip to London earlier this year, as they attended the first tour of the Harry Potter studio, and it just so happened that Prince William and Kate Middleton were there at the very same time. Like any American girl, Dewan wanted to meet Kate and become best friends because it’s 2013 and we still have princes and princesses.
Jenna recalled, “We got word that Kate and William were gonna come and christen the Harry Potter Museum and I was like, ‘Oh my God, we have to meet. She’s pregnant, I’m pregnant, we’re gonna be best friends. This has to happen.
“They come that morning, and they’re like ‘Oh, they’re leaving.’ And I was like, ‘Honey, we are going.’ And he was mortified. He was like, ‘We are not chasing these people down,’ and I said, ‘Yes we are!’
“We end up in the receiving line, and they come and see us and wave. And he’s like, ‘Okay great, we’re good. We’re leaving.’ But I said, ‘No, we need a picture!’
“So I gave one of the (movie’s) producers my phone to take a picture, because I needed a picture for Everly’s baby book – we’re both pregnant! Like, how cool is that? And they were cool as cucumbers… After they left, I got the look (from Channing), that ‘You know I just really embarrassed myself’. I told him, ‘I’m pregnant? Hormones?’” (Via the Indy Channel)
You know, I’m a little disappointed there wasn’t more to the story, like actual dialogue between Prince William and Channing. It’s a shame, really, because I think that it might, yep, it might have gone a little bit like this…
Prince William: ‘Alo guvna, welcome to bloody London town!
C-Tates: Wut up, prince blood. Wut up, fly Katey boo? Lemme see you clap dat royal ass.
Kate Middleton: You cheeky bastard, you’d like to see me twerk my butt cheeks, you scoundrel.
C-Tates: Yo prince Billy, Y we listenin to deez fat baby mama boos when we could be makin it rain wit dem chicken heads at Bizznuckingham Piznasty, right?
Prince William: Oi, dat be a moighty foin plan, bloke. ‘Ave you ever seen Pippa shoot a ping pong ball out of her vajoina an into the queen’s crown?
C-Tates: Damn son, U best ain’t B trippin cuz I’d bounce a stack of Bennies off day fine bitch’z ass, u heard?
Kate Middleton: And let’s be sure to meet back here after we’ve given birth, when our breasts are larger, so Jenna an I can make out for you blokes.
C-Tates: Yo dat sound mighty fly, mama. Mighty fly.
I’m willing to bet that’s at least 75% accurate.
(Original banner via Getty)
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