Welcome back to the FilmDrunk Guide to Weekly (or Bi-Weekly depending on how busy I am) Streaming and Video on Demand, and this week we’ve got some huge blockbuster movies for you to check out, because you’ve definitely never seen any of these before. Especially this unknown, independent film starring that guy from Chaplin about a man who lives inside a robot to hide his shame. I believe it’s called, This Thing Smells Like Farts.
Check it out, here’s the rundown of this week’s streaming, VOD and a very special iTunes announcement…
!!!Now Available on iTunes!!!
Six Feet Under
Should You Watch These: I’ve only watched The Wire and The Sopranos, and I’ve only watched the former all the way from episode one til the very end. But people rave about all of these shows, so I think it’s worth it to check them all out if you’re trapped in a well with nothing but your laptop, an endless battery and an iTunes gift card. Otherwise, spread them out and live life a little. Try a new flavor of Doritos or something. [Vince's Note: Rome and Six Feet Under were my all-time favorite shows before I saw The Wire.]
!!!Now Streaming on Netflix!!!
The Kids are All Right
Starring: Annette Bening, Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo, Mia Wasikowska
The son of a same-sex couple seeks out the sperm donor who made his birth possible in this comedy from writer/director Lisa Cholodenko. The committed parents of two teenage children, Nic (Annette Bening) and Jules (Julianne Moore), are about to send their daughter, Joni (Mia Wasikowska), off to college when her younger brother, Laser (Josh Hutcherson), asks for her help in tracking down his biological father. Reluctantly inquiring with the sperm bank, Joni leaves her number so the office can pass it along to Laser’s father. Enthusiastic at the thought of meeting his long lost offspring, Paul (Mark Ruffalo) musters the courage to reach out, and the family tree grows a new branch.
Should You Watch It? The critics have raved about this movie that I believe was named after a song by The Offspring. I haven’t watched it, mainly because my job is to look out for and watch terrible movies, but I’ll make a deal with you all right now – if neither of us has seen this movie in 20 years, we’ll get married. Deal?
[Vince's Note: This hokey-ass movie plays like Tyler Perry for smug white people. The dialog was stilted, the writing was terrible, and I can't remember laughing once. I never understood all the good reviews for this turd. I mean, I enjoy Mark Ruffalo looking disheveled, but even I have limits.]
Starring: Josh Duhamel, Julianne Hough
An affirming and suspenseful story about a young woman’s struggle to love again, Safe Haven is based on the novel from Nicholas Sparks, the best-selling author behind the hit films The Notebook and Dear John. When a mysterious young woman arrives in a small North Carolina town, her reluctance to join the tight knit community raises questions about her past. Slowly, she begins putting down roots, and gains the courage to start a relationship with Alex, a widowed store owner with two young children. But dark secrets intrude on her new life with such terror that she is forced to rediscover the meaning of sacrifice and rely on the power of love in this deeply moving romantic thriller.
Should You Watch It? Remember what I just said about watching terrible movies. *whispers* This is going to be on the list!
Starring: Lloyd Owen, Ryan Robbins, Warren Christie
Officially, Apollo 17, launched December 17th, 1972 was the last manned mission to the moon. But a year later, in December of 1973, two American astronauts were sent on a secret mission to the moon funded by the US Department of Defense. What you are about to see is the actual footage which the astronauts captured on that mission. While NASA denies its authenticity, others say it’s the real reason we’ve never gone back to the moon.
Should You Watch It? Between this and Gravity, I am never going to outer space. All this time, I’d been under the impression that space was an awesome place filled with cool little critters like Orbity from The Jetsons, but now it seems kind of scary. You guys can watch Apollo 18, but I’m not.
Starring: Jim Sturgess, Kirsten Dunst, Timothy Spall
Ever since Adam (Jim Sturgess) and Eden (Kirsten Dunst) fell in love as teens, their bond has faced astronomical odds. The pair are separated not just by social class and a political system bent on keeping them apart, but also by a freak planetary condition: they live on twinned worlds with gravities that pull in opposite directions-he on the poverty-stricken planet below, she on the wealthy, exploitative world above. Their budding but illicit romance screeches to a tragic halt when interplanetary-border patrol agents catch them and Eden suffers an apparently fatal fall. But when, ten years later, Adam learns she is alive and working at a vast corporation whose towering headquarters connects their planets, he sets out on a dangerous quest to infiltrate the company and the upper world to reconnect with her. UPSIDE DOWN is a visually stunning romantic adventure that poses the question: what if love was stronger than gravity?
Should You Watch It? If you can understand that synopsis, then you can go ahead and watch it.
The Ghastly Love of Johnny X
Starring: Will Keenan, Kevin McCarthy, Kate Maberly, Paul Williams
The Ghastly Love of Johnny X is a truly mad concoction, blending 1950s sci-fi melodrama, song-and-dance, and a touch of horror – a mesmerizing big screen spectacular! The fun begins as Johnny X and his misfit gang of juvenile delinquents from outer space are sentenced to Earth where “ghastly” is the word! With highly stylized musical numbers, tons of genuinely humorous dialogue and wacky plot twists, Johnny X is the only sci-fi dark comedy musical romance you need to see this year! Beautifully photographed on the last of Kodak’s 35mm black and white Plus X film stock, the cast includes sexy new stars Will Keenan and De Anna Joy Brooks, as well as seasoned professionals Creed Bratton, Reggie Bannister, Kate Maberly, Paul Williams and the late Kevin McCarthy in his final role.
Should You Watch It? Yes. It sounds pretty awesome and it has one of those retro posters and I’m a huge sucker for that.
!!!Now on Video on Demand!!!
Starring: Sam Eidson, Anne Gee Byrd, Brock England, Garrett Graham, Cyndi Williams
As the strict Game Master of a fantasy role-playing game, Scott (Sam Eidson) leads his friends in a weekly quest through mysterious lands from the safety of his grandmother’s kitchen. But his mastery of his own domain starts to slip — along with everything else in his life — when neo-nerd hipster Miles (Garrett Graham) joins the game, winning over the group with his confident charm and dethroning Scott with an unexpected coup. Caught in delusions of grandeur, Scott must roll the dice and risk everything to expose Miles as the fraud he believes him to be. A darkly comedic fable of epic proportions, Zero Charisma is an ode to nerds from every realm.
Should You Watch It? This looks fantastic, but I once thought that about The Piano and that movie was a dud. But I have a pretty good feeling about this one.
Starring: Isaiah Washington, Tequan Richmond, Tim Blake Nelson, Joey Lauren Adams
The striking feature film debut of writer-director Alexandre Moors, BLUE CAPRICE is a harrowing yet restrained psychological thriller about an abandoned boy lured to America into the shadows of a dangerous father figure. Inspired by true events, BLUE CAPRICE investigates the notorious and horrific Beltway sniper attacks from the point of view of the two killers, whose distorted father-son relationship facilitated their long and bloody journey across America. Marked by captivating performances by Isaiah Washington and Tequan Richmond, lyrical camerawork, and a unique and bold structure, BLUE CAPRICE documents the mechanisms that lead its subjects to embrace physical violence. BLUE CAPRICE paints a riveting portrait of 21st-century America and a haunting depiction of two cold-blooded killers that will endure long after the lights come up.
Should You Watch It? The general consensus is that this movie is phenomenal and an instant Oscar contender across the board. Even if Isaiah Washington keeps bringing up that whole reason why we hated him for a while.
The Kings of Summer
Starring: Nick Robinson, Gabriel Basso, Moises Arias, Nick Offerman, Alison Brie, Megan Mullally
Premiering to rave reviews at the 2013 Sundance Film Festival, THE KINGS OF SUMMER is a unique coming-of-age comedy about three teenage friends – Joe (Nick Robinson), Patrick (Gabriel Basso) and the eccentric and unpredictable Biaggio (Moises Arias) – who, in the ultimate act of independence, decide to spend their summer building a house in the woods and living off the land. Free from their parents’ rules, their idyllic summer quickly becomes a test of friendship as each boy learns to appreciate the fact that family – whether it is the one you’re born into or the one you create – is something you can’t run away from.
Should You Watch It? Yep.
Starring: Kelsy Abbott, Lawrence Michael Levine, Adam Wingard
Inside a darkened house looms a column of TVs littered with VHS tapes, a pagan shrine to forgotten analog gods. The screens crackle and pop endlessly with monochrome vistas of static-white noise permeating the brain and fogging concentration. But you must fight the urge to relax: this is no mere movie night. Those obsolete spools contain more than just magnetic tape. They are imprinted with the very soul of evil.
Should You Watch It? Either do or don’t. Do not be a dick like Rex Reed and stop watching after 10 minutes and tell everyone that it was horrible. That sh*t’s weak, son.
Iron Man 3
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Other People
Marvel’s “Iron Man 3″ pits brash-but-brilliant industrialist Tony Stark/Iron Man against an enemy whose reach knows no bounds. When Stark finds his personal world destroyed at his enemy’s hands, he embarks on a harrowing quest to find those responsible. This journey, at every turn, will test his mettle. With his back against the wall, Stark is left to survive by his own devices, relying on his ingenuity and instincts to protect those closest to him. As he fights his way back, Stark discovers the answer to the question that has secretly haunted him: does the man make the suit or does the suit make the man?
Should You Watch It? Hell yes. This movie was damn near perfect. I’m going to watch it three times this week.