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Watch Jonah Hill try to talk through his huge fake teeth in the new Wolf of Wall Street trailer

By / 10.29.13


To commemorate their new Christmas Day release date (read: Oscar eligible!) for Martin Scorsese’s The Wolf of Wall Street, Paramount has released a new trailer, featuring all the wealth porn of the first trailer, now with even more Jonah Hill trying to talk around his enormous teeth.

Mmmph slurp gnnnhh.


(*takes out dentures*) I said, watch my stuff, I’m gonna go take a picture of that placenta.

Revered filmmaker Martin Scorsese directs the story of New York stockbroker Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio). From the American dream to corporate greed, Belfort goes from penny stocks and righteousness to IPOs and a life of corruption in the late 80s.  Excess success and affluence in his early twenties as founder of the brokerage firm Stratton Oakmont warranted Belfort the title – “The Wolf of Wall Street.”

Money.  Power.  Women.  Drugs.  Temptations were for the taking and the threat of authority was irrelevant. For Jordan and his wolf pack, modesty was quickly deemed overrated and more was never enough. [Apple]

I have mixed feelings about this one. It looks gorgeous, but as much as I love Scorsese, and especially Scorsese filming sex, drugs and money, this Jordan Belfort guy seems like a Douche Hall of Fame first ballot selection, and I’m uneasy about a movie being based on his unreadable memoir on the subject of how great he was.

This guy ran a glorified call center and made money by lying to people. How is he any better than a used car salesman or informercial pitch man? I know the trailer has to focus on all the cars and women and dwarf tossing (“Spring Bankers,” as our friend Matt Louv has dubbed it), but I hope the movie gives at least equal time to what a slimy dicklicker this guy is. The last thing we need is even more people who think it’s cool to be a worthless person who contributes nothing as long as he drives a fancy car. I desperately want to love another deliciously sleazy Matthew McConaughey role, but I wonder how many times we can stomach this same plot after guys who grew up idolizing Gordon Gekko almost tanked the world economy two or three times.

[HD version available at Apple]


I want more like this!

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