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Shia LaBeouf’s penis stars in a new NSFW clip from Lars Von Trier’s Nymphomaniac

By / 11.01.13

nymphomaniac-skip-crop

Lars Von Trier’s five-hour comedy porn, Nymphomaniac, has already promised to deliver that which has always been glaringly absent from Hollywood fare: the dongs going in. We’ve been seeing Nymphomaniac in bits and pieces in advance of its Christmas Day release in Denmark and Norway, but the clip released today, Chapter 5: The Little Organ School, finally answers the question, “Where’s the LaBeouf?” That’s right, I’m talking ’bout Shia LaBeouf’s penis.

That’s pretty messed up that Shia LaBeouf wanted this part so bad that he sent Lars Von Trier his home made sex tapes, and then Lars Von Trier puts out the clip with Shia LaBeouf’s penis in it and calls it “Little Organ School.” That’s just rude.

This is highly NSFW, unless your W is a couch in your Travis Bickle-esque apartment like mine is.

This might be a little confusing at first, but basically, the split screen of the leopard (jaguar?) eating set to organ music is symbolism. The leopard eating is her “big hungry pussy,” and the organ represents all the pipes going into it. You know, in case you don’t understand this arty stuff. Let me know if you have any other questions.

Okay, so that’s not the “official” synopsis.

Chapter 5: The Little Organ School

A chorale prelude by Bach: Three voices each with its own character, but in complete harmony. In other words:

POLYPHONY

The nymphomaniac is easily inspired, and acts it out.

Whatever, I like my version. By the way, that’s LaBeouf, Stacy Martin, and I believe the guy mowing her lawn is Nicholas Bro. Here’s his oh face for comparison (see below). Not for nothing, I think I’d rather watch all three Human Centipedes than watch Shia LaBeouf kiss ever again. Lips before tongue, man, Jesus Christ.

The film is a wild and poetic story of a woman’s erotic journey from birth to the age of 50 as told by the main character, the self-diagnosed nymphomaniac, Joe (Charlotte Gainsbourg). On a cold winter’s evening the old, charming bachelor, Seligman (Stellan Skarsgård), finds Joe beaten up in an alley. He brings her home to his flat where he cares for her wounds while asking her about her life. He listens intently as Joe over the next 8 chapters recounts the lushly branched-out and multi-faceted story of her life, rich in associations and interjecting incidents.

Nymphomaniac-nicholas-bro

[Thanks to Cinemablend for the new embed]


TAGSCHAPTERSCLIPSlars von trierNICHOLAS BROnymphomaniacshia labeoufSTACY MARTINTHE LITTLE ORGAN SCHOOL

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