If him marrying his own adopted daughter and those molestation allegations didn’t already make you think Woody Allen was a creep, maybe this supercut of he and his characters saying “make love” will do it (courtesy of OfficialComedy). It’s nearly four and a half minutes of love-making, something I’ve never been able to accomplish myself. What? I’m not Sting.
I’ve always thought “make love” was a funny phrase, such a hilariously flowery euphemism for wheezing into some poor girl’s neck meat for a few minutes. As if playing grunt-grunt splooge was the ultimate expression of devotion. It reminds me of Patton Oswalt’s bit about how G-rated sex talk is so much creepier than X-rated sex talk. “When captain frosting gets done with your hairy bingle-bangle, it’s gonna look like a rat in a rainstorm!”
“Make love” is pleasantly vague, but if we’re going that direction, I still prefer “do sex.” It’s still vague, but more accurate.