Adam Sandler’s next film is set to release on May 23, 2014, and based on the performances of some of his more recent films, if it doesn’t have the words “Grown Ups” in the title, then it might not do too well at the box office. It seems that Warner Bros. might be aware of this, as that next film has reportedly had its title changed for the second time. Originally, the film’s title was Blended before it was changed to the horrible, awful, terrible and therefore Sandleresque The Familymoon, but now Deadline says that it will go back to the original title, Blended.
The fun thing about being so fascinated with Sandler and Happy Madison is that I don’t even need to look up information on this film to have an idea of what it’s about. It stars Sandler and Drew Barrymore, so we know that it’s about a man and a woman who are so perfectly nauseating for each other, and because it was called The Familymoon, they clearly both have children, either with each other or from previous marriages, and they’re all going on vacation together.
It’s probably a lot like Grown Ups meets Grown Ups 2. But for a little bonus fun, I thought I’d predict some of Sandler’s next movie projects.
Stay At Home Dad – Sandler plays Dougie Dad, a perennial bachelor and a former pro hockey player, who is forced to pretend that he’s great with kids when his new neighbor, played by Candice Swanepoel, shows up with her precocious twins.
24 Hours of Lamaze – Sandler is a single, small town obstetrician who wants to take a weekend fishing trip with the boys, but something suddenly causes dozens of pregnant women to go into birth. Can he deliver all of the babies in time to catch the record bass? (Alternate title: Gyne Fishing)
Bad Seeds – Sandler and Allen Covert are two down on their luck buds with no jobs, no babes and no money. That is, until a local sperm bank opens up and they come up with a plan to donate semen under false identities so they can earn enough cash to pay their rent. But the plan hits a snag when Sandler falls for a nurse played by Katy Perry.
Peeping Tom – Tom Peep (Sandler) operates a popular adult bookstore in a quaint New Hampshire town, and things couldn’t be better for the simple guy until a large chain smut store moves to town and threatens to shut him down. Joined by his zany friends, Tom uses a little homegrown corporate espionage to fight back, all while winning the heart of the rival CEO, played by Jennifer Lawrence.
Seeing Double – Sandler plays a smooth-talking goofball who absolutely kills it with the ladies in his local online dating community. But things go haywire when he starts talking to two girls at the same time, only to realize that they’re Siamese twins (played by Charlize Theron and Mila Kunis).
Sure, I’m laughing now, but just wait…
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