While a lot of his fans are still shocked about the terrible car accident that took Paul Walker’s life, the movie studios that had Non-Fast and Furious projects lined up around the late star are moving ahead with business as usual. First up, Relativity is looking to cast a new actor for Walker’s lead role in The Best of Me, which is yet another Nicholas Sparks novel being adapted as a film for the women who still believe in fairy tale love stories. According to Deadline, the role has now been offered to James Marsden, and his deal just “needs to be negotiated.”
Marsden will play the male half of a pair of high school sweethearts, opposite Michelle Monaghan, as they are reunited after two decades of silence. The cause for their reunion? A close friend’s funeral. So help me Buddha, if that friend ends up being a ghost who talks to Marsden’s character the whole time, I am going to… nothing. It really wouldn’t surprise me at all. In fact, I’d probably laugh just as hard at the “shocking twist” as I did at the end of Safe Haven.
But this news got me thinking (as opposed to most news that makes my brain look like this), I could probably save Relativity a lot of trouble with the help of my new invention idea – a computer that randomly generates two actors to star in Nicholas Sparks films. I call it the SPARKS-O-MATIC. For example, using my prototype, I came up with these pairings for future films:
Colin Hanks and Vanessa Hudgens
Miles Teller and Ronda Rousey
Christopher Mintz-Plasse and Rebel Wilson
George Wendt and Kate Upton
Vin Diesel and Busy Phillips
Scott Caan and that one girl Muppet
Quentin Tarantino and Casey Anthony
The only problem I keep running into is when I try to add black actors to the system and my SPARKS-O-MATIC computer shouts, “ERROR! ERROR! ERROR! ERROR!”
(Images via Getty, banner via Universal Pictures)
I want more like this!
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