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The Latest xXx Script Is Almost Done, But Will The Movie Feature Nipple Tattoos?

By / 01.30.14

xXx nip tat

Earlier this week, everyone’s favorite actor/philosopher Vin Diesel made our year by posting a “Thank you” video of him dancing to some Katy Perry and Beyoncé, and it didn’t seem like he could make the lives of his 50 million (!!!) Facebook fans any better after that. But yesterday he at least tried, as he posted another video, a “Vin Book” if you will, as another thank you to his fans, this time showing off a special Riddick desk pad for gamers that he’s going to try to give away soon.

But the actual movie news of yesterday’s video came in the description, as Diesel used his typically coy and nonchalant charm to let us all know that his return to the xXx franchise is still happening, even though his character supposedly had the back of his head blown off in a warehouse fire.

I love when he asks these hypothetical questions. Obviously, I’d love to see Diesel work with Channing Tatum, because I think that they could make a movie that would crack a billion dollars at the box office in one weekend. They could call it Riddick? Mo Like Dis Dick, and they’d play the world’s greatest breakdancers who have to get past their bitter rivalry to save the Earth by winning the universe’s Battle of the Year competition on Zarnak-9, which is a planet populated by only 9-breasted female sex cyborgs. I will write this for free.


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