Yesterday, Uproxx was migrating our servers and I couldn’t post for a few hours, so naturally Michael Bay picked that time to run offstage when his teleprompter stopped working at Samsung’s CES conference. You can see the video above. Bay had some badass copy to read for Samsung’s new line of UHD TVs, but then his prompter malfunctioned. After saying “I create visual worlds that are so beyond everyone’s life experiences… and Hollywood is a place that creates, uh… a viewer… escape… uh…” Bay admitted that the teleprompter was out of sync, briefly tried to continue, then got flustered, apologized, and walked offstage as fast as he could. Bill O’Reilly he is not.
It’s probably the first time I’ve ever felt bad for Michael Bay. Sites keep saying Bay had “a meltdown,” but Samsung’s Joe Stinziano is the real dick here. “Tell us what you think,” Stinziano tells Bay.
Uh… you realize he was supposed to be up there reading ad copy, right, dude? It’s not his stand-up act. Michael Bay is far too busy banging supermodels on his floating snow leopard sanctuary to memorize some bullshit Samsung was paying him two helicopters to read. That wasn’t part of the deal.
Here’s Bay’s statement on his website:
Wow! I just embarrassed myself at CES – I was about to speak for Samsung for this awesome Curved 105-inch UHD TV. I rarely lend my name to any products, but this one is just stellar. I got so excited to talk, that I skipped over the Exec VP’s intro line and then the teleprompter got lost. Then the prompter went up and down – then I walked off. I guess live shows aren’t my thing.
But I’m doing a special curved screen experience with Samsung and Transformers 4 footage that will be traveling around the world.
Notice he never said “sorry.” Because Michael Bay’s mantra, as we all know, is “I don’t change my style for anybody. Pussies do that.”
He may sound contrite, but rest assured, there are at least three people currently deveining fois gras in Michael Bay’s jetski hangar for making him look bad in front of his fans. He once accused a stylist of causing a bad hair day and the guy spent the next eight year’s as Bay’s personal bidet operator. You work for Michael Bay, you know the rules. Make him look good or get used to cleaning ocelot fur out of the snow makers.