You might remember the gentlemen from Simple Pickup from last October, as they were the guys who raised thousands of dollars for breast cancer awareness by asking women if they could motorboat them. They’re also the guys who like to brag about their amazing pickup artist skills, as they use the most incredibly terrible lines in the world to convince random girls to hook up with them, all while looking like regular, ordinary dorks. But what happened when one of those dorks asked the wrong SWOLL BRO’s girl if he could motorboat her has helped create one of the worst, and therefore most wonderful, videos you’ll see this week.
The SWOLL BRO in question just so happens to be actor Marty York, who you’ll remember from The Sandlot as Yeah-Yeah, and also possibly from his 2009 arrest for punching his girlfriend in the eye while he was driving. It’s safe to say that this video is the result of what happens when an unstoppable BRO collides with an immovable douchebag.
Just in case the video disappears at some point, here’s a transcription of York’s eloquent interview:
“Have you ever seen the movie The Sandlot? I’m Yeah-Yeah. I’m a motherf*cking goddamned movie star. First of all, who the f*ck is this f*ckin’ Asian motherf*cker? I’m a goddamned movie star. I’ve been on TMZ ten times. Look my name up – Marty York. You ask to motorboat my chick, I’ll f*ck you up, dude, right now. Unless you know motherf*ckin’ Bruce Lee Kung Fu… (mumbles unintelligibly) I’m from f*cking Brooklyn, I’ll f*cking murder you.”
And he goes on to lift his shirt and proclaim that he’s made of solid steel before shouting, “YAHTZEE!” because he’s clearly in control of his emotions as an adult actor that we should all look up on TMZ.
Of course, he shouldn’t be confused with Tom Guiry, who played Scotty Smalls in The Sandlot, as he was arrested last year for headbutting a cop at the airport because he was “too drunk to fly.” Kids these days, they grow up so fast.