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Is Belle Knox Part Of A Growing Trend Of Porn-Curious College Girls? Fox News Asks The Tough Questions!

By / 04.16.14
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I love Fox News. This latest article is like every local news scare piece on killer bees or the knockout game meets their televised sweeps week discussions of whether “Spring Break has gone too far?!” The terrifying question of the day? “Is Belle Knox a bellwether?” (Amazing restraint, avoiding the Belle-wether pun).

Belle Knox being, of course, the Duke freshman currently moonlighting as a porn star. How many SECRET PORN STARS are out there, and is our SECRET MUSLIM PRESIDENT sheltering them in some sexy secret prison?? I need lotion I mean answers!

Take it away, Fox:

The nineteen-year-old Duke University freshman caused a firestorm when she was exposed moonlighting as porn star Belle Knox to help pay her tuition. She ended up writing several blog posts defending her choice, made the talk show rounds, scored a gig hosting an online amateur porn competition, and landed a summer internship at a porn site.

Hey, Bob! How many other articles did we write about this chick that we can cross link to? This is SEO gold!

So are other cash-strapped co-eds now following in her well-chronicled footsteps?

God I hope so.

“Are other cash-strapped hotties willing to deepthroat for cash? We sent our youth correspondent, Pinky Ring Pete all over town to find out. Footage at five, six, eight, and eleven.”

Mike Diaz, who manages a strip club where Knox performed, said the publicity surrounding Knox has caused his establishment to be “flooded with applications” from college-aged women. Porn site operator Colin Rowntree said he has also seen a spike in women contacting him “to explore being in our movies as a result of all the Belle Knox media coverage.”

“You’ll never believe how many average college babes hit me up every day trying to be in my movies,” says guy who makes his living convincing girls to be in his movies. Details at 11.

And Dan Miller, Executive Managing Editor of adult industry news site XBIZ, said he expects to see a Knox-inspired spike in college students doing porn to pay the bills in the near future. [FoxNews]

The scary part is that the spike has already happened, if you ask MY PANTS.

Anyway, great work, Fox News. This was an important story. “Tonight at 11, we’ve got the latest on a dangerous craze that’s sweeping sorority houses and college campuses all over the country, and it’s caaaaallled a ‘creampie…’”

I’m also looking forward to the porn parody, “Blowing The Lid Off,” starring Greta Van Sucksforfun and Dong Hannity.

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