First off, I would never support using dating apps to “troll” people earnestly looking for love, but I do take partial credit for making Jaden Smith’s Twitter account as world renowned as it is. 15-year-old Jaden’s feed is such a perfect display of existential buffoonery that as of a few months ago, he was following one account, Bob Marley, which was a verified account, even though Bob Marley is dead. I can’t think of anything more perfect than that.
Recently, our friend Samer Kalaf over at Deadspin decided to try an experiment. Using Tinder, a dating app that allows you to swipe right for “yes” and left for “no,” and eventually allows you to message other users after you’ve both swiped each other yes, Samer decided to use some Jaden’s most idiotic Jadenisms as opening lines. Sadly, it appears to have worked better than most of my approaches.
I’m dying at “Yeah prolly!” I imagine Jaden’s fans responding “Yeah prolly!” to all of his greatest tweets. It’s so versatile too. “If a tree falls in the forest, does it really make a sound?” “Yeah prolly!”
“Can you prove that you really exist?” “Yeah prolly!”
That’s going to be my answer to everything now.
The rest of the responses varied, probably the saddest of which was this girl saying “you are very deep. I can’t tell weather you are trying to fix me or if you are interested in me?”
Someone calling Jaden Smithisms “deep” made me very sad, but the girl who correctly identified Jaden Smith tweets and called him out on it restored my faith in humanity. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go ask Samer for her number.