The other day, hot on the heels of Shia Labeouf’s impromptu pick-up game of hobo McDonald’s keepaway and his ass-slapping Cabaret handcuff party that ended in tears and shouts of “do you know who I am?!,” occasionally accurate news outlet X17 Online reported that Mr. Labeouf had entered a rehab facility. Good news, thought all. According to his “rep,” however (strange thing for a not-famous person to have, no?), Shia has not checked into rehab at all, but is “voluntarily receiving treatment for alcoholism.”
“Contrary to previous erroneous reports, Shia LaBeouf has not checked into a rehabilitation facility but he is voluntarily receiving treatment for alcohol addiction,” the rep says in a statement. “He understands that these recent actions are a symptom of a larger health problem and he has taken the first of many necessary steps towards recovery.” [TheHollywoodReporter]
Correct me if I’m wrong, isn’t checking into a rehab facility one way a person might “voluntarily receive treatment for alcohol addiction?” To parse this vagueness using context, I’m assuming this means that he’s not in a rehab facility, but is going to AA meetings. Not to be confused with Robin Williams, who is currently in preventative rehab, which is apparently a thing. Great places to meet chicks and smoke cigarettes, regardless.
Whatever the case, I’m hoping Mr. Labeouf succeeds in correcting this larger health problem that’s causing him to drink too much. Is it bursitis? My money’s on bursitis.