It’s time now for the Internet’s most beloved Netflix streaming column – the incoherent ramblings of a SUBJECT MATTER EXPERT. We’ll have the newly released freebie (well, subscription based) offerings as well as a few you’d have to throw a few dollar bills at via Google or Amazon or iTunes. Buckle up, get your crash helmets and plantain chips and let’s do this [Vince's mother].
Netflix Streamer of the Week
Louis CK Hilarious
The following is a true story. A while back (a “while” in Internet terms is an amount of time I don’t want to put any research into) Louis C.K. went around to a few prominent networks with the following idea: I, the aforementioned, Mr. C.K. will give an entire stand-up routine. You, the digital distributor, will produce and host said routine, and we will (and this is what’s known as the “kicker”) charge people money to watch it once. You know, like iTunes, but for a comedy special. Or like the TV you’re so fond of, only without commercials and with little credit card slot on the side. The response? The powers that are didn’t get it. Louis was really flummoxed by what he considered to be a straightforward money-making idea, and to be met with blank stares across the room made him wonder if he was a crazy person.
I believe he did exasperated interviews on this very process (maybe “The Daily Show”) but eventually he produced it himself and kept all the money. It was the damndest thing, this idea that no one would throw a few bucks at new 90 minutes of Louis C.K. comedy. People are dumb.
Streamability: If you haven’t seen it, definitely. Makka me laugh.
Top Paid Streamer of the Week
The Raid 2 (Amazon, GooglePlay – $3.99)
There’s something to be said for pure adrenaline romps, and that thing that must be said is as follows: “They are fun, but I wouldn’t want to marry them.” A bit like Dredd if you’re not used to international flavor, this was the rare sequel that outshone its predecessor. In a vacuum this is a must watch, though I don’t even know how you’d get in in there.
Streamability: See above. Reading comprehension is a pre-req in today’s fast-paced job market.
Curio of the Week (Amazon – $4.99)
I didn’t see it, although it looked like a nice departure from form for Jason Bateman. Kind of like how Bob Saget went full nasty after Full House. The reviews weren’t spectacular, but there’s not much comedy on the board. [Vince's Note: I saw it. I liked it. It's not too ambitious and mostly well-worn territory, but if you like vulgar wordplay more than wacky hijinks like I do, it's definitely worth a stream.]
Streamability: Maybe? Not really? Sort of?
Netflix Lady Parts of the Week (Netflix Streaming)
Remember when Sharon Stone showing off her ShaSto was a big deal? Now even the Pope has a sex tape. Kids these days.
Streamability: For those memories, get in there. Here’s the German trailer.
Inside Baseball of the Week (Amazon, GooglePlay – $3.99)
Really interesting if you’re a big film buff history major blogger type. So all 12 of us. This documentary follows a visionary (loopy?) director who wanted to adapt the epic sci-fi classic, “Dune”. Only without reading it. Based on the cover art. They interview some online personalities you might know here, but no one from FilmDrunk. A shame, that.
Streamability: Yes, if you watch everything. No if you just watch to be entertained or kick back.
The Bad, Bad and the Ugly Streaming of the Week (Netflix Streaming)
There was an era where these surly anti-heroes held sway. Bad Teacher was the other one. In both cases the protaganist was supposed to be an unlikable schlub, but most American audiences don’t really have the stomach for that. In the end, they just have to be misunderstood and looking for love and blah blah blah. I didn’t really like these films. I like my bad characters to be murderers.
Top Netflix Scare of the Week (Netflix Streaming)
I’m not ashamed to admit this movie gave me nightmares for years. Ed Norton is just the creepiest in this. Richard Gere is so foolhardy! There’s many a twist, eeven though just telling you that information is a twist in and of itself. I don’t see horror films very often, because I’m el fraidy cat, but this was just a regular movie that freaked my situation out. Won’t be seeking the treasure again with this one.
Streamability: If you haven’t seen it, and aren’t afraid of your own waking nightmares, then yeah, go for it.
Top Netflix Soundtrack of the Week (Netflix Streaming)
If you really want to freak people out, try walking down the street while singing this at the top of your lungs. You’ll get more than a few looks and crosses to the other side of the roads. It’s big fun.
Streamability: Weekend depression for you and I!
Top Netflix Pitt of the Week (Netflix Streaming)
Legends of the Fall
You could make the case that this is the best movie ever, and I wouldn’t readily disagree. It’s got all you could ask for, fiancee stealing, dad writing on chalkboard, and early beautiful-skin Brad Pitt. I think at one point someone disowns someone as a brother, and someone else gets straight up killed in war. So epic, so watchable.
Streamability: Oh, for sure. If you haven’t seen it, rustle up the significant other around a crackling summer fireplace.
That’s all for now. You can follow Laremy on the Twitter here.