Opening Everywhere: The Purge: Anarchy, Sex Tape, Planes: Fire and Rescue
Opening Somewhere: Wish I Was Here
FilmDrunk Suggests: Not Wish I Was Here, that’s for sure. As for the rest of this slate, well, this is a mixed bag of a weekend, and I’m probably going to use it to catch up on 24: Live Another Day and my new young adult novellas about a centaur in high school who solves crimes in his spare time.
The Purge: Anarchy
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 57% critics, 71% audience
Gratuitous Review Quotes:
Grillo’s performance will make you wonder why he didn’t start headlining movies like this before turning 50; his is the soft-spoken kind of charisma that helped make half of the Expendables into stars back in the ’80s and ’90s. – Michael Nordine, Village Voice
“The Purge: Anarchy” is more in line with what people going to a “Purge” movie would want out of a “Purge” movie. – Adam Graham, Detroit News
Armchair Analysis: Here’s my question after watching all of the commercials over the last week – if you’re stuck out in the open as the Purge begins, wouldn’t you just quietly find your way to the roof of a building, lay low and sweat it out until it’s over? Hell, hide in a dumpster or something. Or, you know, just don’t go out the entire day before it begins. And if you do, bring a rocket launcher and just blow a bunch of sh*t up. I should stop talking.
Sex Tape
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 19% critics, 54% audience
Gratuitous Review Quotes:
At heart, it’s about as naughty as an old Disney movie with Dean Jones, Suzanne Pleshette, and an unruly Great Dane. I liked its gung-ho slapstick spirit, though. No one’s slacking off. – David Edelstein, Vulture
Sex is treated first as brainless imperative, then as acrobatic duty, then as desperate consequence – it’s never sexy in any way. – Tom Long, Detroit News
Armchair Analysis: I am not going to miss the Cloud or dog CPR commercials at all.
Planes: Fire and Rescue
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 45% critics, 66% audience
Gratuitous Review Quotes:
The meek action plays to the under-10 crowd, but the groaner puns will play only to masochists. Meanwhile, the 3-D ticket upcharge here is a big ripoff – the extra dimension is unnecessary. – Jordan Hoffman, NY Daily News
Planes: Fire & Rescue is a good improvement over Planes, which Disney released last year. The story is stronger, there are some wonderful additions to the voice talent and the 3D cinematography is well-utilized. – Bill Zwecker, Chicago Sun-Times
Armchair Analysis: I know, it’s just something for kids to sit and stare at for an hour and 24 minutes while their parents sneak a bottle of wine or three, but Dane Cook being paid money for anything makes my head hurt.
Wish I Was Here
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 32% critics, 78% audience
Gratuitous Review Quotes:
“Wish I Was Here” is a welcome, if belated, second chapter in a filmmaker’s career. I just hope we don’t have to wait another 10 years to see what he thinks about life as a forty-something … – Stephen Whitty, Newark Star-Ledger
For a film that purports to be about the process of maturity and growth, it is woefully un-evolved, lacking in understanding and insight. – Mark Olsen, Los Angeles Times
Armchair Analysis: It’s funny to me how loyal Zach Braff’s fans are when it comes to the negative reviews of his films, the same way Kevin Smith fans freak out when Chareth points out that a horror with Justin Long in a walrus costume sounds terrible. If there’s a meter on which we gauge our Braff enjoyment, I’d say I’m dead center in neutral. But then he pulled that crap where he made fun of the way a critic looked because he didn’t like Wish I Was Here, and I lost all interest in seeing this. Also, Josh Gad.