Hey everyone! How has your day been going? Great, great. Anyway, the reason I called you here today was I wanted to chat it up about streaming Netflix titles. Admittedly, that’s a strange thing to call a group meeting for, but the heart wants what it wants. What’s good out there for you to watch while you hide in your house with your lights off, praying no one trick or treats you?
Behold!
Top Netflix Streaming of the Week (streaming)
Django Unchained
Back in 2012, I had this as my 7th favorite film of the year. I don’t know what’s happened between now and then, besides Vince hitting puberty, but for some reason this wasn’t doesn’t resonate as much anymore. I’m a huge fan of QT, but I can think of about half a dozen QT films I’d watch before this one. Including True Romance, which isn’t even technically his. That one isn’t streaming, at least not for freesies, but there’s plenty of Tarantino action on Netflix, Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, The Kill Bills, so you needn’t settle. On the other hand, Leo Di Caprio is quite pretty. And that Jamie Foxx, whatta triple threat. He sings, he acts, he wins Oscars, he out-foxxes the competition (If I’m his agent I’m answering the phone like that). I’m bullish on Horrible Bosses 2. Much like Marie Curie, I just like the chemistry. I had to Google “famous chemists” for that joke. I’m not proud of my actions.
Streamability: Good flick, just not super re-watchable. Something about battles to the death in front of roaring fireplaces and men smoking pipes.
Actual Top Netflix Streaming of the Week (streaming, Nov. 1)
Total Recall (1990)
Back in 1990, I had this as my 7th favorite film of the year. No, I’m just JOSHIN’ you. Total Recall still crushes it in a big way. This is the original, by the way, not the compromised second version. At least according to the poster art they sent me. Now, they’ve been known to get that wrong as well, so if this IS the Colin version then you have my hearty apologies. I’d watch this film again, and possibly do a live podcast about it, if given the chance. Get ready for a surprise! Three-nippled ladies!
Streamability: Definitely worth a little gander if you haven’t seen it, like if you we born in 1995 or whathaveyou.
Top Netflix Disaster of the Week (streaming)
“The Carrie Diaries: Season 2”
This show was so good they canceled it. But who doesn’t want to see Mr. Big as a teen?
Before bylines, the Big Apple and Mr. Big, Carrie Bradshaw was a teenager of the ’80s. In this prequel to “Sex and the City,” she navigates high school while harboring dreams of becoming a writer.
I love when a woman navigates high school while harboring dreams. What I can’t stand is people who don’t harbor or navigate in the slightest. Buncha jerks.
Streamability: It could theoretically be something you have to put up with to make your Sig_Oth happy. But if that’s the case, you might just wanna break up instead. Lesser of two weevils.
Top Netflix Docu of the Week (streaming)
Bound By Flesh
Take it away synopsis!
Perhaps the most famous conjoined twins of all time, the Hiltons became a vaudeville sensation before falling on hard times and dying in poverty. This absorbing documentary follows their unique life, which was fraught with exploitation and hardship.
Wait, “perhaps the most famous conjoined twins”? Who is the competition? Can you even name another set of conjoined twins, or even who these ones are? This has gotta be fascinating. I mean, they did EVERYTHING together. Hot lovin’? Automatic threesome. Bad dumper? Give me a courtesy flush over there. Pizza Fridays? I don’t like olives, c’mon, stop being like that! Seems like a really interesting premise, and it might be nice to finally answer who, perhaps, the most famous conjoined twins were. Also, dying in poverty, who doesn’t want to see a finale like that? I wasn’t even aware of the medical implications here, but I’m guessing (hoping) they passed off this mortal coil together, as proper conjoineds.
Streamability: Wait, is anyones on the Disney Channel conjoined? “Dog with a Blog”?
Top Netflix Comedy of the Week (streaming)
Kingpin
This all went down before Randy Quaid lost his mind. Breakdowns come, and breakdowns go … but being a Quaid brother is for life. Also, did you notice that Total Recall, with a character named Quaid, and a huge Randy Quaid film are coming to streaming in a similar timeframe? Can that be a coincidence? Didn’t Nostradamus call for this sort of thing, along with the metal birds?
Streamability: I think so. It made me laugh, and usually that takes Matt Lieb quicksand action. [Vince’s Note: I used to love this movie. Possibly my favorite Farrelly Bros joint. But I watched it again on cable the other day and I don’t think it holds up.]
Top Netflix Memory of the Week (streaming)
Battle Royale
Just the ultimate kid-on-kid violence, back before it got played out. The Japanese really know how to do it up. They have such a different relationship with young persons, basically treating them as little adults. I remember my Japanese friend Jin telling me that on his birthday, as a teen, his dad would tell him, “Happy Birthday. Now get back to work.” That’s a gift for you, the gift of a work ethic!
Streamability: If you haven’t seen it, definitely. If you have, conjoined twins (perhaps).
Actual Top Netflix Don’t Bother of the week (streaming)
Begin Again
This movie used to be called Can a Song Save Your Life? but then they changed the name because everyone hated it. This is like a really bad version of the film Once. Boy and girl meet, he teaches her how to release the inner “her” by getting inside “her” and many other pathetic angles. Pretty dumb, and the 2nd time recently I’ve had I’ve had to take Mark Ruffalo to task. Does Mark secretly suck? I know that’s sacrilege, but there is evidence out there. Seems like a nice fellow, though, overall.
Streamability: Here’s the German version of the trailer because it’s far more awesome.
Laremy is on Twitter and thinks everyone should just relax.