There’s not a huge amount of new streaming offerings this week, like a little warrior hedgehog the major players in the game are keeping their heads down until the holidaaaayz start. That’s when they release all the “good” stuff, and I know we all actively look forward to that. I plan on asking for a drone so I can dive bomb my enemies, hopefully smoting them.
Streaming time!
Top Netflix Streaming of the Week (streaming)
Pirates of the Caribbean: Black Pearl
I still like these movies. I think maybe I’m remembering a darker sensibility here than others, but I recall them hanging poor people, some of ’em kids, while drunken pirates stumbled out of bars. Plus, at the time, we all respected the hell out of John Depp’s performance. He was nominated for an Oscar for crissakes! The one troubling angle of the film was Keira Knightley, as she clearly should have ended up with Jack Sparrow. When I got the action figures that’s how I played it out.
Streamability: I’m voting “yes” because there must have been some reason we all loved it. [Vince’s Note: These movies are all terrible.] It’s not like there was a universal gas leak in all the theaters or something. I could see boycotting the later editions though.
Top Netflix Memory of the Week (streaming)
Scream 4
Somewhere, in a small town, there’s a person who knows the plots of all the Scream films off the top of his/her head. I guarantee it. There are like 320 million people in America, one of them is a massive Scream fan, and they know and understand Neve Campbell and Courteney Cox’ backstory. Speaking of, where the hell did Neve Campbell go? She was amazing in Wild Things. I miss her.
Streamability: I just remembered this was the one from 2011, and I actually kind of enjoyed it. Could that be accurate? Also, all the Scream movies are now on Netflix if you just want to do a power marathon. Maybe make some sort of flow chart for us. I like visual representations of data.
Top Netflix Streaming Curio of the Week (streaming)
Nebraska (2013)
This annoyed me. Yeah, I liked the Will Forte acting action, and black and white can be fun, but I just wanted to shake the old man. I hate how Hollywood movies sometimes make dementia out to be a character flaw that can be worked out with pluckiness and understanding. We’re not traveling three states so your that delusions aren’t so jarring pops! I did like the cousins here though. They seemed like good people. [Vince’s Note: My review]
Streamability: It’s not all bad, but it’s more for the “shuh shuh” crown than anything.
Worst Paid Title of the Week
Tammy (Amazon, $14.99)
This movie was sooooo terrible. They had no idea what sort of story they were trying to tell. Were we laughing at Tammy? With her? Do all-lesbian 4th of July parties actually exist? And so on. This was a film that was marketed as a Melissa McCarthy comedy when what it actually came off as was a really terrible drama. And they are charging nearly $15 bucks just to stream it!? I guess what I’m saying here is that it wasn’t very good and that you probably shouldn’t buy it. Use your monies to buy a York Peppermint Patty instead. At least that will leave a good taste in your mouth.
Streamability: Speaking of comedies, how hard do I want to end my Dumb and Dumber To review with, “I guess we’ve all gotten smarter”. It’s like a tic, and I’m not sure I’m going to be able to resist it.
Additional Paid Title of the Week
Iceman (Amazon, $2.99)
Another tragic misfire. It had a compelling story about a hitman who killed and killed, but they made it arcless and hopeless instead. Michael Shannon is a strange actor in that he generally plays the same type of characters, strong, quirky, and sinister – but he does it in wildly disparate settings. Some are great, I’m a fan of Revolutionary Road and parts of Boardwalk Empire, but you could have Take Shelter. Ugh.
Streamability: I would go with a negative. This is lesser Shannon canon.
That’s all for now. Love you guys!
Laremy is on Twitter and enjoys road trips.