I always found Tim Allen to be that sort of boring, not-really-funny comedian who doesn’t even have the decency to suck enough to inspire true hate like Larry the Cable Guy, but who’s just popular enough to hang around the periphery of pop culture for GD ever. I hated Home Improvement when I was still young enough to love Steven Seagal movies unironically, which shows you how much that show sucked. And that’s why it was with fear and trepidation in my heart that I watched the trailer for Allen’s directorial debut, Crazy on the Outside. He went to prison and everyone thinks he’s been in France, you see.
Yet again, even in the realm of sucking, Tim Allen is nothing but a disappointment. With nary a record scratch, a nutshot, or an embarrassing meeting with an Asian businessman to be found, the sad truth is that this looks about 75% better than most Tim Allen movies. Of course, anything that didn’t involve him rapping, switching bodies with an animal, or turning into a mythical creature would’ve accomplished that. Thus, it’s not even fun to ridicule. Tim Allen’s suck is so powerful, he’s not even sucky enough to make making fun of him fun. At least he’s consistent. Because when you think mild dissatisfaction, think Tim Allen, the Miller Lite of movies.