It’s that time of the week again, folks, when my cyber uterus sloughs off its lining of hilarious comments. Long story short, I keep this segment going because my own vanity aside, the comments are regularly the funniest part of this here site. So here they are, this week’s funniest, with the winner taking home that certification of sartorial magnificence, the FilmDrunk shirt. You can buy them here, and just for fun, I’ll give one away to the first person who emails me (UPDATE: CLOSED. Congratulations, Robert). A little reward for the readers who don’t always comment.
But now, our winner! From the latest Kate Hudson trailer, where she gets cancer, meets a new guy, and goes to Heaven to get advice from Whoopi Godberg. Yes, Godberg.
ChinoMoreno says: “I told you meeting Whoopi in the afterlife causes cancer.” -Patrick Swayze
Wow. That’s all I can say. But I must award a close second to Homo Erectus for his comment on 36 Minutes of Quentin Tarantino’s Lost First Film:
Homo Erectus says: Was the loss of the other footage really an accident? Or did he just find a harsher editor at the Walmart where it was being developed? “I like the call back to Truffault here, but let’s burn out the twenty self-serving minutes about how Mexicans are alergic to condoms.”
Meanwhile, Lester Hayes Mayes set the tone for the entire week:
Lester Hayes Mayes says: If a regular doesn’t post snarky comments this week, I’m just going to assume that user name belonged to Jared Loughner.
From The Golden-Voiced Hobo’s Mac & Cheese Commercial:
Michelle07 says: Kraft Hobostyle macaroni and “cheese” should come with a tiny trash can you can light on fire to heat em up YUM!
And Michelle again on Chet Hanks Stole His Song:
Michelle07 says: I’m a fixin to run through his sprankler!
I’m not entirely sure what that means, but it makes me laugh every time.
From Tom Cruise to Boycott the Oscars Because Anne Hathaway did a Katie Holmes Imression:
Fek’lhr says: Yeah, Cruise is a seat filler all right…
Stinky Peet says: Yeah, and I’m sure Tom Cruise called Harvey Weinstein and let him know all about his role in Tropic Thunder before it hit theaters. Swords ain’t just for crossing, Tommy Boy, they can cut both ways too.
From You can own Vincent Gallo’s sperm:
Chino Moreno: I’d order this but with my luck it’d probably come too fast and end up in my hair.
From Producers prepping Fast and Furious spinoff starring the Rock’s character:
ChaseMit says: The working title for the spin-off film is “Never Going to Happen.” Co-starring Halle Berry as Jinx.
From Tom Hanks Hears His Son’s Single/Christina Hendricks’ 1999 Playboy Picture:
The Reverend Skeleton says: It took Christina Hendricks 10 years to get as fat as she is? Ha! My wife did it in five.
And finally, from Werner Herzog shot his cave documentary with cold lights and a three-man crew:
Fek’lhr says: The Mighty Feklahr wishes Herzog would have shot this with cold Miller Lights and 2 Live Crew.
Indubitably. Anyway, great job, team. Heterosexual ass pats all around.