5ast and 5ious will Rock your Johnson

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05.07.10 15 Comments

Word up, jabronis, say hi to your mothers for me.  Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?  I’ll tell you what he’s cooking, BURNT RUBBER!  Tick… tick.. tick… SLUTS!

Is a match-up between action icons [lol wut?] Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel in the works for the next installment of The Fast and the Furious? Sources tell me it’s not a done deal but that Johnson is eyeing a starring role in Fast & Furious 5.  He’s already in driving mode on the CBS Films revenge drama Faster, and here, it appears Johnson’s character will be on the right side of the law. [Deadline]

My sources also tell me that in order to keep up with a WWE-trained thespian, the designers of the Paul Walker-bot have upgraded it to two facial expressions.  It now does “constipated” AND “vaguely content.”

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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