When it was announced that Channing Tatum had sold a million-dollar pitch for a gritty reimagining of Peter Pan, it seemed strange for a whole host of reasons, not the least of which being that Peter Pan is a pre-pubescent scamp traditionally played by a girl, and Channing Tatum is a mumbly, 31-year-old whigger with a burned penis. Welcome to Never Neverland Florida, Son! HOO HOO! Anyway, today we’ve got some more details on the project, and long story short, IT TOTALLY MAKES SENSE NOW. [SORRY, THIS STORY IS NOT ACTUALLY ABOUT THE SAME PROJECT, SEE UPDATE BELOW]
Aaron Eckhart and AnnaSophia Robb will star in the dark spin on Peter Pan that was originally set up at New Line as a directing vehicle for Guillermo del Toro.
Ben Hibon will direct the story from a screenplay by Ben Magid in which Eckhart plays Hook, the Captain Hook character reimagined as a tormented former detective on the trail of a childlike kidnapper. Robb, riding high following the solid recent launch of Soul Surfer, will portray Wendy, the lone survivor who leaves an asylum to help in the hunt.
Sean Bean has been cast as Smee, the chief detective and Hook’s only ally on the force. [ScreenDaily]
Remember how the Coen Brothers’ O Brother Where Art Thou was a wacky re-imagining of The Odyssey by Homer? This is… nothing like that. My best guess as to how Hollywood functions these days is that they take a talented parody writer, surgically remove his self-awareness, implant an earnestness chip inside his brain, and make him listen to Drowning Pool on repeat while guys in Affliction shirts scream catchphrases at him. SERIAL KILLERS! CHILD MURDER! DETECTIVES! “Okay okay, I wrote a script, it’s called Sergeant Tom Sawyer: Special Amnesia Unit! Just make it stop!”
UPDATE: I apologize, although it’s listed as the same on IMDB, this is NOT the Channing Tatum Peter Pan project. Apparently there are THREE SEPARATE Peter Pan projects in development. This Law & Order style one outlined above, with Eckhart and Sean Bean; Channing Tatum’s version, called Pan, where Peter Pan and Captain Hook are brothers (either biological or African-American, I’m not sure); and a third which is said to have a Twilight spin. And even with two Peter Pan projects already in development, someone still paid $1 million for Channing Tatum’s version. My mind is blown.