The Razzies was founded in 1981 by copywriter and publicist John Wilson, and every year they hand out awards to the most obvious, low-hanging fruit of bad movies, I suspect as a pandering method of self-promotion. And what fruit hangs lower than Adam Sandler? Tell us, Golden Raspberry, what brave stand have you taken this year?
With three critically-panned movies released by his Happy Madison Productions, Adam Sandler totally dominates the list of contenders for The 32nd Annual RAZZIE Awards. Sandler has more than doubled Eddie Murphy’s old record for the most nominations accrued by an individual in a single year. As an actor, writer and/or producer on JACK & JILL, BUCKY LARSON and JUST GO WITH IT, the former SNL star has amassed a whopping 11 RAZZIE nods, dis-honoring last year’s Worst Achievements in Film.
Leading the pack for Worst Picture is Sandler’s cross-dressing comedy JACK & JILL, which received 12 nods in all (becoming only the 4th film in the Tacky Trophy’s history ever to get more dings than the awards have categories). Besides having the inside track to “win” the top award, JILL is also contending for Sandler as Worst Actor (as male twin Jack) Katie Holmes as Worst Supporting Actress (playing Jack’s wife) and former Oscar regular Al Pacino, nabbing his third RAZZIE nod for playing “himself” as being madly in love with Sandler’s female twin. Sandler is also nominated for Worst Actress for playing the role of Jill and, should he “win,” and choose to follow in the footsteps of previous “winners” Halle Berry (CATWOMAN) and Sandra Bullock (ALL ABOUT STEVE) Sandler could potentially become the first “winner” who literally has the balls to accept a Worst Actress RAZZIE.
Haha, ouch, my sides! Hilarious play on the word “literally,” you must write for a living! You guys seem like perfect judges of comedy. Sorry, I’m not trying to argue that Jack and Jill and Bucky Larson don’t probably suck, but the Razzies have always bugged me. They always just make the least controversial, most expected choices of crappy movies, seemingly on reputation alone. I’m not sure they even watch them. It seems more like the “Hey, I heard that sucked!” awards, presented in the hopes a celebrity might legitimize them by showing up. The only people who spoof bad comedy in a less funny way than the Razzies are Seltzer and Friedberg. Ooh, Adam Sandler broke the record for most nominations in your made-up lame awards show? Amazing! That’ll be the first entry in the Guinness Book of Mouth Farts I’m writing, if I can just stop wanking dismissively long enough to hold a pen.
Also selected as Worst Picture nominees for 2011 are: BUCKY LARSON: BORN TO BE A STAR (in which a Midwestern dolt comes to Hollywood to pursue a career in porno films); NEW YEAR’S EVE (which wastes some than 20 major stars on a “plot” almost as sophisticated as an episode of THE LOVE BOAT); TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON (an even louder, even longer 3-D follow up to Michael Bay’s 2009 Worst Picture “winner” TRANSFORMERS 2); and the 4th installment in the TWILIGHT series, BREAKING WIND, PART I (in which Sparkly Vampire Edward finally marries – and impregnates – Whiny Goth Girl Bella).
Haha, it’s funny because Bella is totally goth! Whoever writes the Razzies press releases makes Mr. Skin seem like Mark Twain.
For the first time in RAZZIE history, all five nominated Worst Pictures are also vying for Worst Director, Worst Screenplay and Worst Screen Ensemble. Other well-known potential RAZZIE recipients include: Former Oscar winners Nicolas Cage and Nicole Kidman, British comedian Russell Brand (a Worst Actor choice for the massively disappointing remake of ARTHUR) and The Victoria’s Secret Underwear Model who replaced Megan Fox as the girlfriend of Shia Le Beouf in TRANNIES #3. “Winners” will be announced, appropriately, on Sunday, April 1 – April Fools’ Day. A complete list of nominees follows:
“Trannies 3!” You scamps have done it again!
Worst Picture:
Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star
Jack & Jill
New Year’s Eve
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1Worst Actor:
Russell Brand, Arthur
Nicolas Cage, Drive Angry 3-D, Season Of The Witch, and Trespass
Taylor Lautner, Abduction and Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I
Adam Sandler, Jack & Jill and Just Go With It
Nick Swardson, Bucky Larson: Born To Be A StarWorst Actress:
Martin Lawrence (As ‘Momma’), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son
Sarah Palin (As ‘Herself’), Sarah Palin: The Undefeated
Sarah Jessica Parker, I Don’t Know How She Does It and New Year’s Eve
Adam Sandler (As ‘Jill’), Jack & Jill
Kristen Stewart, Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part IWorst Supporting Actress:
Katie Holmes, Jack & Jill
Brandon T. Jackson (As “Charmaine”), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son
Nicole Kidman, Just Go With It
David Spade (As “Monica”), Jack & Jill
The Underwear Model (Aka Rosie Huntington-Whiteley), Transformers: Dark Of The MoonWorst Supporting Actor:
Patrick Dempsey, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon
James Franco, Your Highness
Ken Jeong, Big Momma’s #3, Hangover Part 2, Transformers #3 and Zookeeper
Al Pacino (As ‘Al Pacino’), Jack & Jill
Nick Swardson, Jack & Jill and Just Go With ItWorst Screen Ensemble:
The Entire Cast of Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star
The Entire Cast of Jack & Jill
The Entire Cast of New Year’s Eve
The Entire Cast of Transformers: Dark Of The Moon
The Entire Cast of Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part IWorst Director:
Michael Bay, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon
Tom Brady, Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star
Bill Condon, Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I
Dennis Dugan, Jack & Jill and Just Go With It
Garry Marshall, New Year’s EveWorst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel
Arthur
Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star (Rip-Off of Boogie Nights and A Star Is Born)
The Hangover Part 2 (Both a sequel and a remake!)
Jack & Jill (Remake/Rip-Off of Ed Woods’ Glen or Glenda)
Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part IWorst Screen Couple:
Nicolas Cage & Anyone Sharing the Screen with Him in Any of His Three 2011 Movie
Shia Lebeouf & The Underwear Model (Aka Rosie Huntington-Whiteley), Transformers #3
Adam Sandler & EITHER Jennifer Aniston OR Brooklyn Decker, Just Go With It
Adam Sandler & EITHER Katies Holmes, Al Pacino OR Adam Sandler, Jack & Jill
Kristen Stewart & EITHER Taylor Lautner OR Robert Pattinson, Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part IWorst Screenplay:
Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star, Written by Adam Sandler, Allen Covert and Nick Swardson
Jack & Jill, Screenplay by Steve Koren & Adam Sandler, Story by Ben Zook
New Year’s Eve, Written by Katherine Fugate
Transformers: Dark Of The Moon, Written by Ehren Kruger
Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I, Screenplay by Melissa Rosenberg, from the novel by Stephenie Meyer
Ooh, what subversive choices! Also, Your Highness is currently playing on cable, so you can judge for yourself, but really, f*ck everyone who said that movie wasn’t funny. But especially these turd burglars.