ALVIN 2 TRAILER IS WANK MATERIAL FOR FURRIES

06.30.09 8 years ago 50 Comments

Fox, the only movie studio run by and for seals, recently released a new teaser trailer for Alvin & the Chipmunks 2, which I-kid-you-not is actually called Alvin & the Chipmunks: the Squeakuel.  It’s the kinda title that’s really cute if you’re a soccer mom sh*tfaced on Valium.  Anyway, you can tell this isn’t your crusty old grandmammy’s Alvin & the Chipmunks because these Alvin & the Chipmunks don’t just harmonize, they beatbox.  The plot of this one is that the chipmunks show up to school (uh… chipmunk school?) and instantly meet some female chipmunks and fall in love (“Psst, hey, Simon, get a load of these squanks”).  It isn’t quite as strange as the infamous poop-eating teaser from the first movie, but it is a little creepy to see rodents making eyes at each other accompanied by slow jams. It’d definitely go in the spank bank if I was a furry.   Ha, just kidding, I’ve pleasured myself to it three times already.

Also – you can tell they’ve met their soul mates because the female chipmunks (the chipettes) look exactly like their male counterparts.  A girl with glasses for Simon, a cool one for Alvin, etc.  It’s just like when I play wingman for my plump friends.  “Hey, Fatty, check out that fatty over there – she looks perfect for a fatty like you,” I tell them.  “Mmm, she looks hungry.  What’re you waitin for? Go talk to her, wide load.  Don’t worry, I won’t let anyone steal your sandwich.”

Around The Web