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08.05.08 26 Comments

MTV today spoke with The Mummy 3: Whatever It’s Called director Rob Cohen, who revealed plans for the next Mummy movie.  Leading me to spit out my coffee and rub my eyes in a circular motion and other comical expressions of surprise. The following contains spoilers, but this is The Mummy we’re talking so who really gives a shit.

Brendan Frasier [sic] as an immortal hero up against an immortal villain is just one of many ideas “Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor” director Rob Cohen wants to explore in another installment of the blockbuster series, he told MTV News, insisting that a fourth installment is all but guaranteed if audiences respond well to “Mummy 3.”

“Rick [Fraser’s character in The Mummy, apparently], because he was treated by the pool of eternal life, Rick is now immortal. I’d love to explore how that plays out for him,” Cohen said. “Another spoiler, Jonathan [John Hannah] winds up with the artifact in this film and he doesn’t realize, nor do we, what its powers are. In my mind, that artifact still has a lot of prizes in it, the eye of Shangri La, this big diamond.”

I hope the prize is bazooka gum!  Seriously though, that would be apropos considering I pay as much attention to this franchise as I do to the little cartoons inside the 20-year-old pieces of Bazooka Joe you win at amusement parks.  They spent $170 million dollars on the latest Mummy movie.  If they’d spent that on cancer research it’d probably be cured by now.  Essentially, Brendan Fraser killed my grandpa. 

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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