The news and details surrounding this new trailer for a movie called Avalanche Sharks are a little confusing. According to IMDB, this movie was supposed to be released back in June as a sequel to something called Sand Sharks, and other sources reported back in May that it was supposed to be called Sharkalanche and star Brooke Hogan. Yet Fangoria dropped the new trailer on us this week and reports that it’s the next in line of SyFy’s unparalleled TV movies, so who the hells knows what the f*ck is going on?
And who cares, because when you’ve got a movie that features babes in bikinis and their bros being chomped in half by sharks that can swim through mountain snow, details are only for losers on the bunny slope. As for the Avalanche Sharks synopsis, I hope you’re wearing a diaper.
Spring break in the mountains: snowboarding, beer, drunken co-eds in bikinis. As the yearly Bikini Ski Day party descends on a small mountain town, something lurks beneath the snow. When an unwitting rider causes an avalanche, it awakens a huge, menacing, prehistoric Snow Shark! With a newfound taste for human flesh, the Snow Shark picks off the snow bunnies mercilessly. Cut off from help by mountainous terrain and blinding snow, the local sheriff must make an unlikely alliance with a motley crew of snowboarders to take down the Snow Shark before the white hills run red with blood!
Yes, please.