BREAKING: SATANIC JEWS HAVE TAKEN OVER BET

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Senior Editor
12.29.08 18 Comments

…with their MONEY! And their BIG NOSES!

After the jump, I’ve got your daily update about what the Satanic Jews of Hollywood (great name for a band, btw) are up to from Louis Farrakhan.  Apparently they’ve been busy: putting out American Gangster, taking over BET, giving shows to the Kings of Comedy, drinking the blood of infants, etc.

“But you gonna take Denzell… One of our BRIGHTEST stars… That you gave an OSCAR to… NOT FOR THE MOVIE MALCOLM X [Editor’s Note: You mean that guy you helped kill?]… Not for the movie THE BONE COLLECTOR… Yoooooooouuuuuu gave him an Oscar for playing a corRUPted black policeman.  …You didn’t give Halle Berry an Oscar for her many wonderful roles… [Editor’s Note: …such as?] But you gave her an Oscar for her nasty little role with a white man.”

See, everything sounds profound if you just shout three words and then pause for ten seconds.  THIS MORNING! ….I awoke  …FROM A SLUMBER!  …I was hungOVER!  …and I had …an enormous BOWEL MOVEMENT!  He’s basically Christopher Walken with a conspiracy complex and a busted volume control.  And officially the last person in the country who remembers The Bone Collector.

[Thanks to WorldStarHipHop]

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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