Brendan Fraser, one of our nation’s finest actors, has a new movie coming out,
Fraser: “I needed a bigger butt on account of there was going be a lot of physical comedy. I get thrown around a lot in the movie. But let’s just face it, it’s funny. Kids love it. Adults love it. They’re like, ‘Ha-ha, look! Brendan Fraser, the guy who was really buff in all those action movies, has gotten fat.’ I don’t know the number of pounds I gained because, in my real life, I don’t step on scales. I don’t believe them. I’m like, ‘You’re a liar.'”
Haha, you got us, Brendan Fraser! The whole time I was watching you get sprayed by skunks and shout “Miley Cyrus!”, I was thinking, “Haha, this is really funny because he used to be buff! How do they come up with this stuff!?!” No, It’s a good thing you gained all that weight. A skinny guy getting trapped in a Port-a-potty? Preposterous. For your next film, you should put on an afro wig and get hit in the groin with a soccer ball. People will applaud your transformation. It would really turn the Brendan Fraser mystique on its head.