Okay, now I REALLY want to see The Master

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09.10.12 24 Comments

As if my anticipation boner for Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master couldn’t get any more turgid and veiny, MovieClips just added this new clip to promote tonight’s 70 mm showing in Austin. The clip features Joaquin Phoenix as his character, Freddie, taking the old Rorschach test. And Freddie? Well, you might say old Freddie has a bit of a “one-track mind.” Here’s how he describes the ink blots:

“That’s a pussy.”

“That’s the part between the assh*le and the pussy.”

“That’s two ladies facing each other. With tits hanging down. And it looks like… there’s come dripping off of them.”

“That’s two women again. They’re holding their hands together. It looks like they’re covered in come.”

“This is a pussy. And an assh*le, the assh*le’s open.”

“Two women, touching each other’s pussies. You can actually see the pussies touching, right here.”

Well, you can’t spell Rorchach without “chach.” The Master was famously inspired by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, but according to Paul Thomas Anderson, Tom Cruise has reportedly seen the film and given it his blessing. Maybe this clip is a clue as to why. “Haha, you got me, Paul!” I imagine Tom Cruise saying, “That’s classic me! Always thinkin’ about the ol’ ‘poontang’, ha ha ha!” he probably said, laughing nervously and making quotes in the air with his fingers.

Aww!

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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