COMMENT AWARDS: PORTMAN, ANIMAL CRUELTY

11.06.07 10 years ago 66 Comments

For the newbies out there, this is the time of the week when I give shout outs to the people FilmDrunkards who make FilmDrunk a fun place to waste time. Looking for movie news?  Scroll down.  Cold?  Try a sweater.  Wearing a scarf?  You’re probably gay.  Nominate your favorites for next week here (this post is hidden, so bookmark it).

First off, let me say that last week was perhaps the best I’ve seen in terms of humorous commenting.  I more or less had to throw out everything from the Natalie Portman bruise pun thread because there was just too much good stuff in it.  See also: The Conan/Animal Cruelty thread.  Anyway, it’s never been this difficult to whittle it down to the ten best.

But, without further adieu… 

 

 

Top prize this week, for the comment that made me personally LOL the hardest, goes to Nominus, for this gem in the CONAN TEASER POSTER post, in response to my question about hilarious moments of man-on-beast movie violence:

1. Nominus says:
The scene in Dances with Wolves where the Souix Indians come upon the herd of slaughtered buffalo and the white man had only used miniscule parts of the buffalo.  [Solid use of deadpan].

Next, from the Marcellus Wallace/Sonny Liston post:

2. JHC says:
"He turned to fighting as a way to gain respect."
What a dumbfuck.  Everyone knows the way to gain respect is by dominating flame wars.

From the There Will Be Blood thread:

3. Stone Soup says
Lance, my ex-wife used to have performance periods as well.  She’d warn me before any contact by saying – "There will be blood". [Way to knock a hanging curve out of the park]

From Jack Black/Ren Faire thread:

4. Crapbasket says:
I just found a pubic hair in my mouth and I think it’s mine. Does that make me gay? [Now that’s how you work the non-sequitir]

From the Grease/Jessica Simpson:

5. Watanabex and Stone Soup:
Watanabex says:
oh please lance tell us more tell us more

Stone Soup says:
Bex – this is nearly the perfect comment.  I’d have just gone with ‘Tell me more, tell me more.’  But A+.   [I included both because I didn’t get the reference until SS pointed it out] 

From the Billy Campbell thread:

6. Vegas Hustler says:
I was thinking that beard was more Masturbatory. [solid use of a callback]

From the Mandrake the Magician thread:

7. chodin says:
i like mandrake’s shirt…like, a lot. definetely bugle boy. [obviously, poor spelling doesn’t always count against you]

From the Pictures From Wanted thread:

8. Bea Dragnet says:
If one more comic book gets made into a movie i’m going to shoot myself…..in black and white but my blood will be red! god I’m fucking artsy. 

From the Broken Lizard/Slammin Salmon thread:

9. Jacktion! says:
Is Carrie Bradshaw the retarded guy who did all those RadioShack commercials? 

10. – Three Way Tie:

FROM WONDER WOMAN ETC.
John Wayne in a Devo Hat says:
Aah, yes, the great Wonder Woman with her Invisible Airplane, Golden Lasso and let’s not forget my personal favorite, the amazing "Tampon of Spontaneous Rage" [Ed. Note: Women be shoppin’] 

From Fans Choose The Rock’s Role post:
evil lincoln says:
So the fans chose his role, but now everyone….Knows…..his role?

From Brad Pitt/David Fincher:
The Luchador says:
France is like Belgium, but for fags.

Honorable Mention:

From the Protagonist Trailer thread:
ThurgoodJenkins says:
Most of you guys are nerds, huh? 

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