Comments of the Week: Eye Candy Edition

09.26.11 6 years ago 27 Comments

Accompanying this week’s Comments of the Week post is another piece of Baby-Goose-inspired artwork courtesy of Mr. Magwich. As he says, “please pass this onto tom hardy’s people. it’s based on a screenplay i wrote that i want to get him and goose in on.”

I think I speak for most of us here when I say that I would totally watch that. Anyway, it’s time to name this week’s winner. But before we do that, a quick comments-of-the-week explanation: use the comments section of this post below to nominate a comment for next Sunday/Monday’s comments of the week. You can either bookmark this post, or it’s always linked in the sidebar on your right or at the bottom of my Morning Links post every morning. Now then. The Winner. This week, I gave the edge to Dingus, who was just a slight hobo’s c*nt hair above the rest, I thought.

[From World’s Most Shocking Study Finds People Like Brad Pitt] Dingus says: “Americans may like Brad Pitt, but they don’t really care much for baseball anymore.”

That being said, this may be the biggest movie to ever open in Japan; it’s about baseball and math. They’re gonna love it.

[From James Cameron Bringing Avatar to Disney World] Dingus says: “The Na’vi are so pure in everything they do, valueing life to their utmost potential. i would so much rather leave this life style and world to live their ways in their world.”

I would much rather leave this world for the world of Game of Thrones, so I could push children out of windows and f*ck my sister.

Well done. Meanwhile, I have to pin the runner’s up ribbon on Patty Boot’s chest, mainly so I could “accidentally” graze her boob, but also for this comment:

From Drew Barrymore’s Whale Movie (in which I called John Krasinski “a real Wry-an Reynolds”):

Patty Boots says: Well said, Snark Griswold

Touché.

Honorable Mentions:

[From CBS Films Making The Hangover for Old People]

Stallonewolf says: We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the fiber began to take hold.

[From Lion King is Number One at the Box Office and “a ‘Lion King’ is when you put your thumb in a girl’s butt, then wipe it on her forehead and hold her over a cliff.”]

Moose says: Sticking your thumb up a Catholic girl’s ass and then wiping it on her forehead in the shape of a cross is called an “Ass Wednesday”.

Yes, but as Tyler Durden tells us in Fight Club, “Sticking your thumb up a Catholic girl’s ass does not make you a chicken!”

[From Ryan Gosling to Quit Acting to Focus on Babies]

ChinoMoreno says: Haha! I don’t love you, birth control patches.

[From Moneyball Study/People Love Brad Pitt]

Larry says: I want you to hit the ball as hard as you can.

[From James Franco and the Dramatic Whisper]

Stinky Peet says: And in Citizen Kane, dicknose is a sled.

…played by Kirk Douglas.

Yeah, so one time on the Frotcast, Lindy West was drunk and somehow the subject of “Kirk Douglas’ corpse going down a log flume with a boner” came up. It’s a fun callback, because it never made any sense whatsoever.

[From Abduction Tracking 0% on RottenTomatoes]

GlennBeckHasAIDS says: “This is one alpaca that al-packs-a-punch!” – Pete Hammond

Panzerschwein says: “I know now why you cry. But it’s something I can never do.”

[Everyone looks on in horror as an alpaca is lowered into a pit of lava.]

And last but not least, from JGL Won’t Talk about Robin:

Erswi says: Went and saw a sneak of Moneyball last night. Here’s my abbreviated review: It didn’t suck and it got me out of the house and away from my kids for like 2 hours.

Stinky Peet says: Erswi: so Moneyball is like cheating on your wife with a Jewish girl?

Note: The views expressed by FilmDrunk commenters in no way reflect the opinions of its writers, parent company or advertisers. But come on, that little one-two punch had to give you a chuckle.

Anyway, here’s to another week of offensiveness and insensitivity. DRUNK ON.

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