12.15.08 9 years ago 52 Comments

Howdy, FilmDrunkards.  I must regretfully inform you that today’s Comments of the Week winner will receive no prize besides bragging rights.  But that also means I can go back to posting a picture apropos of absolutely nothing.  I think you’ll agree that this kid’s parents are f-cking fired.

As always, the way this works is, when a commenter makes a comment worthy of recognition, YOU nominate it by copy and pasting it in the comments section of this post.  I’LL pick the winner from among the nominees next Sunday/Monday. (And sometimes the winner gets a prize).  FYI, the nomination thread is always linked in the ABOUT section.

First, the runners up.  Commenter JHC doubles up on the Fox Options 9-Year-Old’s How to Talk to Girls Book thread.

JHC says, “At 9, I knew how to talk to girls:
‘Cootie face!’ ‘You’re gross!’ ‘Close your f-cking legs, it smells like fish in here!'” …And:

JHC says, “I don’t know about talking to girls at 9, but I could get 45 extra men on Super Mario Brothers with my eyes closed.”

From the New Uwe Boll Movie thread:

Token Black Guy says, “Mock him if you must but taking a boll movement while on a toilet boll while having a chick boll-ow you is one of the greatest joys in life. You never forget your first boll-umpkin.”

From the Diddy Demands Black Bond, aka the LeBron James Bond thread:

ChinoMoreno says, “In LeBron James Bond, R. Kelly will play The Man With the Golden Shower.”

From the Chandni Chowk to China thread (a Bollywood film featuring Kung Fu):

Stone Soup says, “If your Dojo doubles as a call center, you might be a Hindu Kung Fu Fighter.”

Frankly, I’m surprised there weren’t more call center jokes.  From same post:

Chodin says, “I’ll admit it: I’m guilty of using the “as lovely as honey” line on chicks, but in my defense, I’m usually covering them with fire ants at the same time.”

From the Jessica Biel Strips thread:

Stinky Peet says, “I think they called this Powder Blue because the effect of watching Jessica Biel strip is the same as if you ground up Viagra and snorted it through a straw.”


Chodin says, “If you stab Jessica Biel in the stomach, she bleeds giggles and cuteness.”

From the Scott Ruffalo Death Ruled Accidental/Russian Roulette thread:

Pauly Dangerously says, “I play African Roulette which is basically going up to black guys and saying “Sup my niggas! HOLLA!”” [Editor’s note: Because he’s not black, get it?]


Pauly Dangerously says, “This Ruffalo has wings now.” [Editor’s note: Extra points for creativity on that one.]

From the ‘Sasquatch Assault’ thread:

Robopanda says, “Tagline: You ain’t seen nothing yeti.”

From the Odette Yustman’s Hot Butt is in a Poster:

witty nickname says, “‘Odette Yustman’ is what George Takei says when asked what is hiding under his covers.”

AND THE WINNER IS – and I’ll be honest, I thought it was an easy choice this week – CHODIN, fom the Jessica Biel Strips thread – a film which also features Kris Kristofferson:

Chodin says, “I heard a rumor that if you can get Kris Kristofferson onto his back, he’ll instantly fall asleep.”

Funny because it’s true.  Until next week…

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