If you know what 'spoof' means in Aussie slang, you'll know why I went with that headline over "BETTY DOES DALLAS".
Anyway, Private Parts Director (the occupation I list on my business cards) Betty Thomas has signed on to direct the movie adaptation of Dallas, with John Travolta attached to play JR, and Hot Rod writer Pam Brady writing the script.
Thomas previously directed the Brady Bunch movies and Can't Hardly Wait, a teen movie classic which was solely responsible for me writing "Aman-duh!" on the cups of countless Starbucks patrons named Amanda. Thomas is the third director attached to the project, which was originally set to be directed by Robert Luketic (Monster in Law) and later Gurinder Chadha of Bend it Like Beckham. Boy, Indian names are rough, aren't they? I know I don't speak the language, but it seems like avoiding names that end in "Durrr" is always a good policy.
The choice of Thomas signals a move to a more parody-oriented movie, which is good, because much like Cave Painting with Afro Guy and Robin Williams being funny, Dallas was something that happened before I was born. Thus, I would rather see it made fun of. Much like Gerald Ford.
UPDATE: As ass toot commenter Godotzilla correctly points out, Thomas did not direct Can't Hardly Wait. Don't blame me, blame those lazy Australians at MovieHole.