DEAR HOLLYWOOD, JAY BARUCHEL IS NOT MY STAND IN

Senior Editor
01.29.10 39 Comments

Here, you guys, watch this red-band trailer for She’s Out of My League while I ponder how anyone could find Jay Baruchel interesting enough to write a movie around.  It’ll be like when Uncle Tony would give me a Rubik’s cube to play with while he went upstairs to bang my mom.  (Joke’s on you, Tony, I just took the stickers off).

Seriously though, who likes this guy?  Jay Baruchel couldn’t be more boring if he was reading Slate and talking to me about Roth IRAs.  All he ever does is scrunch up his eyebrows, throw his hands up in the air and move his head around spastically.  It’s his response to everything, like Wiley Wiggins’ nose pinch or Kristen Stewart’s lip bite.  And this concept is just as bad as I Love You, Beth Cooper.  If it were an old woman, I’d push it off a cliff.  I get it, it’s like wish-fulfillment for schlubby douches.  But if you’re expecting me to use Jay Freaking Baruchel as a stand in for myself, well you can just dere-lick my balls, capitan. [-video via CinemaBlend]

(“Hurrr, I scrunch my eyebrows because every day life takes me by surprise.”)

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