GIRLS CAN’T BE BASTERDS, SILLY!

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05.06.09 95 Comments

Here’s the latest poster from Tarantino’s (we all know this is a Tarantino movie now, right? I can stop saying that?) Inglourious Basterds, featuring Diane Kruger, who plays Bridget von Hammersmark in the movie.

I don’t know about this ‘Diane Kruger is a Basterd’ business.  Girls are bitches, c-nts, sluts, skanks, whores, and queef layers, but not bastards.  Dudes are bastards.  Bastards, a-holes, douchebags, c-nts, twats, dipsh-ts, sh-tforbrainses, numbnuts, asswipes, dickholes, dickwipes, poopsmears, f-cknuts, fartknockers, sh-tsniffers, d-cklickers, and spunk monkeys.  That’s the way it is and that’s how it shall stay, so sayeth the lord.  Unless… Were they trying to imply that Diane Kruger is a dude?  …Yeah, I can kind of see it now.  It’s in the chin.

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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