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12.06.11 11 Comments

Here’s Ving Rhames, aka Marsellus Wallace, leaving a Big 5 Sporting Goods in Santa Monica on Friday, buying the place out of basketballs. I don’t know why he looks so pissed. Maybe he got forced into playing against a Princeton-style offense, and trying to defend all those guys going backdoor against his will really took a toll.

“Yo, Marsellus. You okay, man?”

“Naw, man. I’m pretty f*ckin far from okay.”

“…So what now?”

“What now? Let me tell you what now. I’ma call a couple of hard, screen-settin’ niggas, who’ll go to work on homes here with a pair of triangle sets and a high pick and roll. YOU HEAR ME TALKIN’, HILLBILLY BOY? I’ma get Pitino on your ass.”

[picture via TheSuperficial]

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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