DOESN’T ANYONE BEAT THEIR KIDS ANYMORE?

11.28.07 10 years ago 164 Comments

We’ve already double-teamed one story today so this is pushing it, but this clip I found on WithLeather is both movie-related and the most ridiculous thing I’ve seen all day so I had to post it.

Anyway, ever wondered what would happen if two stinky ultimate frisbee players figured out how to copulate and then gave birth to a child who was more than the sum of his sheltered pussy parts?  Okay, now mix in some mercury-tainted vaccines and private-school education and what do you get?  Motherf#$king college kids playing motherf%*king Quidditch, that’s what.

So apparently the most sheltered retards in wannabe exclusive Northeast private schools like Vassar and Middlebury College are playing quidditch, the made-up game from the Harry Potter books.  Yes, the same game that requires flying around on a broom and a tiny magic ball that flies around of its own volition. [WL]

God I’m angry.  I’m going to punch every inanimate object I see, beginning with homeless people and eventually moving my way up to white babies (not that white babies are higher up, just that I don’t see black or Mexican kids playing goddamned Quidditch).  This is what happens when people stop beating their kids.  I don’t want to live in that world and if I have to smack your kids myself until they learn that there is such a thing as a stupid idea, so be it. 

And if you’re keeping score at home, people who play quidditch just shot to the top of my list of people I want to stab, just above guys that listen to techno in their car, club promoters, white guys with dreads, and the cast of Sunset Tan. (Trannies that trick me into doing them by being super sexy have been demoted to a stern talking to)

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