Drunken, slurring dwarf sings ‘Cutie Patootie’ (UPDATE)

Based on the date and the number of views, there’s a fair chance some of you have already seen this video.  To those people I say, go wait in the lobby while the rest of us share this incredible discovery.  Okay, they’re gone. HOLY SH*T, YOU GUYS! DID YOU SEE THAT? I can’t. Stop. Watching. This is my new Creed Shreds. I’ve seen this six times now.  Remember in Mars Attacks, how everyone assumed the aliens were speaking a foreign language, but then they just slowed down the tape and suddenly it all made sense?  This is kind of like that. You slow it down a little bit and suddenly you realize what you’ve actually been watching.  That, and it’s a total turn on, because you think, “Whoa, I don’t even have to get this chick drunk.”

DO IT! CALL HER CUTIE! CUTIE PATOOTIE! CALL HER CUTIE PATOOTIE RIGHT THIS SECOND OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[Thanks to Justin for the tip]

FRIDAY FREE FOR ALL is the time of the week I reserve for all those awesome things that might not be strictly “movie-related”, as broad as that mandate seems to be around here. Send your tips to lance@filmdrunk.com, but first, make sure they don’t suck.

UPDATE: Commenter Mister Purple posted the original video in the comments, and surprisingly, it’s just as creepy as the slowed-down version.  Everything about this makes me uncomfortable:

Around The Web

Featured

America’s First Dog Cafe Is Nothing Like You’d Expect…It’s Better

By: 05.05.16

This 25-Year-Old Running For Congress Defies Millennial Stereotypes

Crucial Advice About Fear And Adventure From An Amazon Explorer

A Fact-Soaked Odyssey Through Kentucky’s Bourbon Country

This Woman Is Fighting The Stigma Of Sex Work In America In Hopes Of Getting Her Child Back

‘We Went To The Moon In 1969’: How The ‘Even Stevens’ Musical Episode Changed The Disney Channel Forever

M.T. Anderson Correctly Predicted Your ‘Feed’ Back In 2002, Are You Ready To Hear What He Says Is Coming Next?

Kenya’s Massive Ivory Burn Should Light A Fire Under Us All

Returning To The Boston Marathon Offered A Lesson In Facing Fears

Is There More To The Adam Walsh Story?

Stand-Up Comedy Scared The Hell Out Of Me, So I Decided To Give It A Shot

W. Kamau Bell On Joking With The KKK For CNN And Quoting Malcolm X In His New Special