‘The Expendables 3’ Trailer Looks Like A Really Expensive Activia Commercial

04.04.14 3 years ago 49 Comments
Expendables3-Gibson

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At this point, Sylvester Stallone is just going to keep making Expendables movies until his HGH-enlarged heart explodes, so you might as well get used to it. The Expendables 3 was directed by Patrick Hughes and written by Stallone, Katrin Benedikt, and Creighton Rothenberger, who I’m pretty sure is just Stallone in a fake mustache and lacrosse outfit. It stars pretty much everyone who has ever grunted on camera, including a newly-freed Wesley Snipes and a hoping-you’ll-forget-that-pack-of-n*ggers-thing Mel Gibson. There are so many of them that the trailer can’t be anything but a montage of the stars winking at the camera, which I assume the full movie does for 90 minutes.

SNIPES. GIBSON. LI. SCHWARZENEGGER. LUTZ. STATHAM. ROUSEY. SNIPES. CREWS. STALLONE. GIBSON. LUNDGREN. SCHWARZENEGGER. COUTURE. ROUSEY. STATHAM. SNIPES. LUTZ. STALLONE. GIBSON. CREWS. SNIPES….

The final, and almost the only, line of the trailer is “Well that’s something to digest.”

You’re making it really hard not to compare this to an Activia commercial, guys.

[I’m picturing a film that looks something like this:]

Opens August 15th.

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