Entertainment Editor
08.19.09 102 Comments

These are the actual taglines for Werewolves on Wheels (1971):

  1. If you’re hairy you belong on a motorbike!
  2. This Gang Thought It Was Tough… ’til it found a new type of hell…The Bride of Satan!

A motorcycle gang called The Devil’s Advocates (oooo, forshadowey) led by a guy named Adam (I’ve seen that guy before. His hair was perfect.) kills a couple of people and then bump into some Satanists.  1970’s movie occult hijinks ensue and they become a motorcycle gang *record scratch* of werewolves.

 In less than 2 minutes the narrator of the trailer breathlessly states all of the following:

“Don’t miss the most unusual and exciting horror motorcycle film yet made.”
“Werewolves on Wheels: the most eerie, the most chilling, the most terrifying horror motorcycle film ever made”
“Don’t miss the first horror motorcycle film ever made.”

This film is also the most resplendent horror motorcycle film ever made.  Also the most piquant, the most fluffy, the most glib, the most purply, and the most mouth-rapey.  But wait, this was called Angel Warriors 2 in Australia. How could it be the first horror motorcycle film if it’s a sequel in Australia?  Are they lying?  I expected better from you, horror motorcycle werewolf movie.

~ robopanda [Thanks to ohhaveyouseenthis]

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