Senior Editor
12.02.08 33 Comments

Says Stath: “Oi, da cunt’s just admoirin’ moy fock’n abs.  Nuffing gaiy about dat, innit.”

When Louis Leterrier directed his Transporter films (he directed the second and “artistic directed” the first), it seems he had certain ideas about Jason Statham’s character, ideas that the character was gay.

Leterrier, told me he created a gay subtext for the character so as to avoid making a “Steven Seagal kind of movie.”

“If you watch the movie and you know he’s gay, it becomes so much more fun,” Leterrier said then. “It’s so great — the first gay action movie hero!” He continued: “Action fans in general are pretty homophobic. You see these tough guys who say, ‘ “The Transporter,” that’s such a great movie!’ If they only knew they’re really cheering for a new kind of action hero.”
And to drive his point home, he mentioned a scene in “Transporter 2” in which a drug czar’s wife, played by Amber Valletta, makes romantic overtures toward the Transporter. Martin rebuffs her, explaining, “It’s because of who I am.”  Leterrier’s take on that? “That’s him coming out!” [LA Times Blog]

It’s hard for me not to get sidetracked by that Seagal reference… but naturally, I wanted to know what our friend The Stath thought about this.  So I asked him:

“Oi, first fings first: da Staf ain got nuffin against da gaiys.  Whateva two consentin cunts wanna do wif dere fock’n knobs ain’ none a moy fock’n business, now isn’ dey?  But as far as da Stafe is concerned, and regahding moy fock’n Transpor’a movies – Oi, wat d’you expect a fock’n French cunt dat’s directin da fock’n movies is gonna say?  A course da cunt’s gonna fall in love wif me, oy’s fock’n Jason Stafam, now isn’ Oy?  At least, Oy was da last toime Oy checked moy fock’n reflection in da soide a moy shoiny fock’n sazz wagon, savvy?

An’ since Oy’s fock’n Jason Stafam, when Oy taike moy shir’ off an staht frowin fock’n karate kicks an’ all dat: evry fit bird, evr bloke, evry fock’n crustacean inna fock’n foive moile radius – dey’s all gonna crave a knobbin, now doesn’ dey?  So if some bloke’s standin’ behoind da fock’n cam’ra, a course ‘e’s gonna fink Oy loike blokes, now isn’ Oy?  Ovvawoise, what’s da cunt got to live for?  Which brings me to an importan’ fock’n point: If you’s watchin’ da fock’n Transpor’a, an’ ya staht noticin’ a plump in ya fock’n plonka, it don’t nessreally mean you’re a pufta, now doesn’ dey?  It jus’ means your fock’n human.   You’re fock’n human, an’ Oy’s Jason fock’n Stafam, innit.

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