Senior Editor
09.26.07 28 Comments

Kevin James has signed on to write, produce, and star in Mall Cop, for Happy Madison Productions. The "comedy" "centers on a mild-mannered security guard thrust into action when highly organized thieves take over his mall."

This, of course, is the same partnership that produced I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.  What, you didn’t like that movie?  You must, like, read or something. 

I was lucky enough to catch the last 20 minutes of it when I snuck in after the Simpson’s movie ended.  There was a court room scene that was basically Mr. Smith Goes to Washington for mongoloids.  I think the case on the docket was "The People vs. Whether Being Gay is Really Cool". Between that and watching Click on an airplane, I’m convinced Adam Sandler is just messing with us, seeing how shitty a movie he can release and still make millions.   

I wish I cared enough about Kevin James to hate him.  He needs to be more like Dane Cook; be overexposed, get caught stealing jokes and release an emo song.  As it stands, he is to comedy what dinner at the Olive Garden is to Italian cuisine, or a Nickleback song is to music.      

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