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07.21.09 20 Comments

Okay, so technically Nic Cage is only in “early talks” to play the bad guy, but in the school of punctuation, exclamation point steals question mark’s lunch money (“Why?”  “Because!”).  Variety says Cage would play a “gangster villain” (possible name: The Forehead) in the Seth Rogen/Evan Goldberg-scripted comedic remake of the Green Hornet. Rogen is set to play the lead with Michel Gondry directing.  Cameron Diaz reportedly wants to play the love interest (though she’s 10 years older than Rogen *cougar snarl*). And they’ve been looking for a new Kato since Stephen Chow dropped out a few months ago.

Between this and his lucky-crackpipe turn in the Bad Lieutenant remake, it’s nice to see Nic Cage finally making some good career moves.  Keep in mind, this is the guy who punched a chick while wearing a bear suit, and that was in a movie where he was the hero.  As a villain, I’ll be disappointed with anything less than him rapechoking a schoolgirl while wearing the lizard tail from Fear and Loathing.  Not enough rapechokes played for comedic effect these days, I always say.

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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