As we learned a few days ago when the poster broke, nothing says pointed, 18th-century satire like Jack Black, 3D, and awful puns. Now we have the full Gulliver’s Travels trailer. The original Jonathan Swift book had four parts — In part one, Gulliver landed on the island of Liliput, a land of warlike, tiny people one twelfth the size of regular humans. In part two, he goes to Brobdingnag, a place of enormous, peaceful folk. Part three is the flying island of Laputa, “a kingdom devoted to the arts of music and mathematics but utterly unable to use these for practical ends,” (and Danny Trejo’s favorite thing). In part four he goes to a place where wise horses rule over “Yahoos”, base, repulsive humanoids.
As far as we can tell from the trailer, Jack Black’s modern-day Gulliver (shockingly, he plays a slobbish man-child) only gets as far as Liliput. From there, he parties with the little people and teaches them the customs of his land, like Black Knight meets Fred Claus, but with less elf rapping. Oh God. Please let there be no elf rapping. To be honest, it doesn’t look as horrible as the tagline might suggest. And yet there it is again, thrown down at the end of the trailer it’s the ace of spades. Really, you guys? “BLACK IS THE NEW BIG?” That’s what you got? “This summer, Jack Black redefines the concept of size.” Please tell me someone’s favorite niece came up with that.
I’ve been in a locker room before. Black is the old big.