This video of Don Cheadle playing a sociopathic, unhinged version of Captain Planet is easily the best thing I’ve seen from Funny or Die in months, for reasons not the least of which being that they made the ‘Heart’ ring guy borderline retarded, just like I always imagined him. Just like the ‘Culture’ guy from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (Jesus, remember when that was the biggest thing around?).
But while we’re enjoying this, let’s not forget that they’re actually making a Captain Planet movie.
“The messages of Captain Planet are even more relevant today,” said Snyder. “We feel this team can bring the world’s first eco-hero to life in a powerful motion picture that is not only pertinent but entertaining.”
“We are extremely excited about bringing the good Captain back to life,” said Murphy. “His adventures are known worldwide and he is recognized across generations.”
Oh I remember Captain Planet, alright. I also remember girls in painted overalls, the AIDS scare, and Richard Grieco. But if you saw Avatar and thought, “You know what this could use? Less nuance.” Then I’m sure this is the film for you.
That said, if it has Don Cheadle calling people “dickhole,” I’m there.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
What do you think Mr. Cheadle stores in his nostrils, candy?
Ooooh I bet it’s candy!
Rumors be flying that Brian Pumper got the HIV! That’s relevant to this post, right? He denies it and said Tyler Styles is the HIVvy out there (which is what I heard floating around). I actually thought the B. Bumper rumor might have been started from someone around these parts. Keep keeping on, guys, and don’t get AIDS. The power is yours!
Did no one learn from the Green Lantern? MOVIES ABOUT GREEN DUDES AND MAGIC RINGS (regardless of how handsome/mullety said dudes might be) DON’T WORK
Reminds me of a TV’s Funhouse sketch called Shazzang: [www.bakedziti.net]
Captain Planet, he’s a hero.
But this movie’s box office gonna be less then zero.
Gillian Jacobs can captain my planet any time.
…wait
The only thing the Heart kid brought to the table was a monkey. Which is great, but not exactly useful.
I always thought a kids show promoting environmentalism was basically a waste of time.
You know who they should be teaching to save the environment? Adults.
porn parody?
Man, those Hollywood types can convince themselves of anything. Yes, Captain Planet is recognized across generations. As the gayest, lamest superhero ever.
That’s what kids need to learn. That fixing the world’s environmental problems will require less hard work, cooperation and education and more faggy blue guy in tights with green hair.
Gayness *does* help the environment. Fuck all you want but never crank out oneathem earth-killin babies.
I for one deplore the use of blueface. This highly offensive custom must be put back into history’s closet.
/Jesse Smurfson.
Haven’t seen a pelvic thrust that fertile since Federline.
I wonder if that Pigman bad guy will be in the movie. I’d be excited to see what Phillip Seymour Hoffman could do with the role.
Britta with a high-pitched russian accent is so hot
The “angry blue man” is perhaps cinema’s most offensive trope.
Yo check this out, Black people save the planet like this…
Shouldn’t Black Captain Planet have a green jeri curl instead?
Paul Blart Presents: Captain Planet-Sized
Girth! Perspire! Chinned! Fodder! FART!
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I’m not the only one that thought the guy in Blazing Saddles, Don Cheadle, and the guy in X-men: First Class were the same ageless person, right? That’s not racist