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01.17.08 41 Comments

Heroes stars are second only to the High School Musical cast when it comes to “famous” people I’ve never seen before.  Apparently that’s where this Hayden chick is from.  Anyway, she’s in talks to star in I Love You Beth Cooper with Mrs. Doubtfire-director Chris Columbus.

Panettiere would play the titular [hehe] character, a comely [hee hee!] cheerleader who is the object of a nerdy valedictorian’s obsession [mmm, tasty… wait, what?]. They embark on a series of misadventures after he proclaims his love for her in his graduation speech. [Variety]

It’s nice to see these young actresses really stretching themselves.  Ellen Page, sassy.  Hayden Panatatttierrr, cheerleader.  Meanwhile, I’ll be reprising my role as the mysterious movie blogger with a heart of gold and a penis that cures sadness. 

According to her Wiki page, Hayden began modeling professionally at 5 months old.  She began acting at 11 months, presumably after purging breast milk all over her crib in an effort to fit into those brutally thin sample-size diapers.  I bet she had a really healthy childhood.  In other news, I got fired from Starbuck’s when I was 24 and got a job as a porn editor.  I’m a success, ma! 

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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