Mistranslation humor is my favorite thing, so when it came out last week that Guardians of the Galaxy‘s box office, or should I say, INTERPLANETARY UNUSUAL ATTACKING TEAM‘s box office, could be suffering in China due to poorly-translated subtitles, I was really hoping someone would dig up some specifics. Thankfully, The Mary Sue has done the Lord’s work, finding a Weibo user named Gudabaihua (“known for his translations and explanations of Western films for Chinese audiences”) who took note of some of Interplanetary Unusual Attacking Team’s most pleasing discrepancies:
- “John Stamos” was subtitled as “Johns Tamo Si” (nope).
- Each time a character was meant to insult Rocket by calling him “rodent” or “weasel” it was translated into “small raccoon,” a term of endearment.
- When Gamora says, “Your ship is filthy,” and Star-Lord responds “She has no idea,” the translation came out to “Your ship stinks” and “No culture is terrible.”
- Star-Lord calling Ronan “turd blossom” translated to “big face.”
- Gamora’s “I will not succumb to your pelvic sorcery!” became “I will not succumb to your rhetoric sorcery!”
- Star-Lord’s “We’re the Guardians of the Galaxy, bitch” became “We’re the Guardians of the Galaxy, slut.”
It’s pretty amazing that “We’re the Guardians of the Galaxy, bitch,” and “We’re the Guardians of the Galaxy, slut,” mean allllmost the same thing and yet are completely different. Language is magical.
And finally, when Peter Quill tries to explain Footloose, saying, “On my planet, they have a legend for people like you. It’s called … Footloose. About a hero named Kevin Bacon who comes to a town and teaches people with sticks up their butts to enjoy dancing,” that last part became…
“…he teaches people how to twist ass.” [Gudabaihua via TheMarySue]
Amazing.
You guys.
You guys, look.
I think I found Kevin Bacon’s dog.
Amazing work, Kevin Bacon.