You’re so vein: Hugh Jackman in The Wolverine

Speaking of movies doomed by association from the start, here’s Hugh Jackman (more like HUGE JACKEDMAN, AMIRIGHT) in the first publicity still from The Wolverine Saga: Retracting Knives Part 2 or whatever it’s called. 2009’s X-Men Origins: Wolverine was directed by Gavin Hood and was almost universally reviled as a box of farts dipped in puke, but this one’s directed by James Mangold (3:10 to Yuma) who sounded like a lot more attractive choice before he directed Knight & Day, but who knows. It opens July 2013.

If anything, this peek at 20th Century Fox’s The Wolverine distances itself from the goofier, gaudier tone of “X-Men Origins: Wolverine,” which everyone would prefer to forget happened. This movie will instead start from a new page, with an international-heavy cast that includes Svetlana Khodchenkova as Viper, Hiroyuki Sanada as gang boss Shingen, Tao Okamoto as his daughter Mariko, Rila Fukushima as assassin Yukio, Hal Yamanouchi as gangster Yashida, Will Yun Lee as villain Silver Samurai and Brian Tee as a corrupt politician. And in case it wasn’t obvious, yes, this story is set in Japan. [ThePlaylist]

Pff, whatever, if I shaved my arms and didn’t drink water for a couple weeks I’d look exactly like that. Hugh probably just wanted his arms all veiny like that so he could feel what it’s like to be hugged by two giant penises. I kid, I kid!

Here’s the full version. Is he getting attacked by a smoke monster? Spoiler alert?

And just because this always makes me laugh:

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