We saw a sizzle reel a while back, and now we’ve got a full trailer for Goon**, the hockey enforcer movie starring Seann William Scott and Jay Baruchel (not to be confused with Hit Somebody, the Kevin Smith hockey enforcer movie that also had Scott attached to star at one point). The plot is that Seann William Scott goes to a local hockey game as a spectator and beats up the opposing team’s enforcer, and then gets recruited by the team himself, even though he can’t skate or shoot or deke or fiffle or any of the other things hockey players do. He’s actually a lot like Kenan Thompson’s character in The Mighty Ducks 2, only instead of a knuckle puck, he uses his actual knuckles to punch people. It’s a shame, society has gotten so violent since ’94. Yet another reason we need you now more than ever, Gordon Bombay.
So it’s a cross between D2 and Rookie of the Year, basically. Things I learned from this trailer:
- Dumb guys are good at fighting
- Fighters are good at hockey
- Hockey fighters like beer
- Beer chicks like hockey fighters
Also, I think a good comeback to “I like hockey players” would’ve been, “Oh yeah? Well I like tonsil hockey!” BOOM! High five that bitch and go straight to the makin’ out.
I also enjoyed the line “For the first time in my life, I feel like I’m a part of something!” It’s funny, because people in real life are always saying that.
**Trivia: though it means “Colin Hanks” in the states, “goon” is also a Canadian word meaning hockey enforcer.
Relevant: “It’s knuckle puck time!”